MATsCrafty

The Leaky Old Ship Sails On

2012-02-10T09:32:00.000-08:00

It seems we are still in the leaky old ship and I'm still the only crew member with any leak plugging materials. There's nothing I can do about it so this is one of those things I am going to have to "suck up" (aka just live with and try not to complain too much) for now.

We do have some fun things in the works. We FINALLY got a new refrigerator. Ours died a couple months back. Thankfully we have Gene's business fridge to fall back on but it sure is nice not to have to go out to the garage to get the milk!
We went with an unconventional idea (well, unconventional in the U.S., it's actually the norm abroad I hear) and got a small, counter-top height fridge. This will allow us to add some much needed counter-top space and make our tiny sardine can of a kitchen seem a little bigger too. That's exciting!
I also spent some time last weekend painting my old wooden trash bin. It had been through several moves and was looking pretty rough. Rather than re-stain it, we decided to paint it to match the kitchen cabinets. All it needs now are some new hinges and a new handle and we should be able to put it to use. I love inexpensive home improvement projects!

I'm still determined to create something special to look forward to (not that our engagement doesn't accomplish that but I have other ideas) and despite the leaky ship sucking up all of my resources, I WILL find a way to make it happen. I'm not giving up!

Looking forward to more crafty time at home this weekend. I need to relax, ahhhhhh.

The Groundhog Says....

2012-02-03T09:02:00.000-08:00

Well, the little critter saw his shadow yesterday morning and predicted six more weeks of winter. I wont mind so much if winter stays the way it has been yesterday and today. Sunny and in the 70s here in Florida. This kind of winter I can handle!

I can hardly believe it's February. So much has happened over the past couple months that time has been moving at warp speed leaving me spinning like a top as it rushed by. I'm trying to focus on the positive. I am however, having a hard time not thinking unkind thoughts toward the person that peed in my engagement cornflakes (metaphorically speaking of course). I'm sure I will soon manage to push those thoughts aside and stop allowing that person to live rent-free in my head.

I have some outing-and-abouting to look forward to this weekend in the nice weather. I also hope to get some crafting time in. Goodness knows I need the 'therapy' of it. Maybe I'll even get around to posting some pics. We will see......

Some Happy News

2012-01-31T07:03:00.000-08:00

I have some happy news to share my friends. Gene and I are officially engaged!

I never thought I'd be taking this step again in my life but here I am. This is one of the positive changes in my life I was hoping for. I'm going to marry my best friend!

We aren't setting a date yet. There's no real rush. When the time comes we will probably keep things small since this ain't the first rodeo for either of us. Heck, it's not even my second! Third time's the charm they say....

An engagement is about two people making the decision to walk through life together. It's not about what friends or family members were told first, it's not about how we choose to share the news or how big or small our wedding will be. This is about the two of us sharing life's ups and downs, walking side-by-side, supporting each other in every way. This is a joyous event.
Shame, shame, SHAME on any one who has tried to make it any thing other than that.

Pressing On

2012-01-27T08:59:00.000-08:00

Another drama filled work week behind me. This week had a particular impact on me. Without boring you with details, I've seen a client go through some things this week that make my problems look like a walk in the park. What a wake-up call to stop whining and moaning. If I don't like my circumstances, I should do something to change what I can and "suck up" the rest.

In my last post I hinted at creating something to look forward to. That plan is in full swing and I'm actually kind of excited about it. It goes right along with changing parts of my life that I'm not happy with. I know, if you're reading this, the suspense is now unbearable but you'll just have to wait for the big reveal. Unless things don't go the way I hope they will... in which case I'll probably never mention this again.... but I'm hopeful.

I sign off with this thought: If there's something you really want, go after it.

Making an Effort

2012-01-24T11:05:00.000-08:00

I've spent a lot of time over the last week or so trying to get myself into a positive mind set. I'm getting there. I've had a lot of help along the way. Being out among the smiling faces of my friends has done me good. So did a Sunday afternoon sequestered in the craft room and a rubber stamp club meeting last night. For some reason I always feel so much more peaceful when I'm being creative.

I must admit I have focussed a great deal on myself and pretty much left every one else to battle their own demons. I've been saying a lot of silent prayers. It seems to me like we are all making progress.... or at least a good show of it.

The sun is shining brightly today and we are enjoying some unseasonably warm weather, even for Florida. I feel almost like one of the cats, stretching out in a spot of sun to recharge my batteries. I wish it would stay this way all winter but at the very least, I'm enjoying it while it does last.

I've decided if life wont hand me something to look forward to, I'll just have to create something for myself so I'm working on that. More details later.... It's too soon to let the cat out of the bag on this one.

36

2012-01-18T11:57:00.000-08:00

Yep, two days ago, I turned 36. I am now officially closer to 40 than 30. Ouch. All these years on this rock and virtually nothing to show for it. What am I doing here?

On the brighter side, I am FINALLY just about over the bronchitis that knocked me on my butt for over two weeks. Thank goodness I don't get sick very often.

Things on the home front SEEM to be improving. I'm in wait-and-see mode for now. I guess you could say that I'm cautiously optimistic. I'd like to think the train went off the tracks once and it will not happen again. I hope I'm not kidding myself.

History Repeating

2012-01-09T11:27:00.000-08:00

I hardly know where to start.

Remember that nice restful vacation I was going to have? Remember how I was going to return feeling refreshed and renewed? Well, so much for that idea.

I feel like the cd player of my life is stuck on repeat and I really hate this song.

Last Christmas I came back from NC with a Grandmother on her deathbed followed by an early January funeral. This year.... exact same position, other Grandmother of course. Only this time, add into the mix that I came down with bronchitis and couldn't make it back for the funeral (which is today by the way). I feel awful about not being there to support my Mother but the rest of the family is there with her and I'm glad for that. I am also selfishly glad that my final image of Grandma is one of her alive. I'm so glad I got to spend time with her at Christmas before she went into the hospital for the last time. I have never felt I really gained anything by seeing a loved one's body once they were no longer in it. It just becomes an image in my mind that I can't shake.

I never thought I would say that I was ready for my Grandma to pass on. However, after seeing her quality of life at Christmas, I know it was time. Alzheimer's had taken such a toll on her and at night it was worse.... she became an almost entirely different person. There is comfort in knowing she is not suffering like that any longer and that she is happy at last in Heaven with Grandpa.

Meanwhile, I'm back here, feeling even more tired and burned out than I did before "vacation", too worn out to deal with the crisis on the home front (which did not resolve it's self in my absence) and seeing no relief in sight. I'm teetering between feeling numb and just thoroughly dejected.

I decided long ago that one of the secrets to being happy is to always have something to look forward to. At the moment..... I got nothin'.

Down to the Wire

2011-12-21T12:34:00.000-08:00

It's 4 days until Christmas. Are you ready?

It's 3 days until I head north to NC and I am SO ready. No, I haven't packed, my laundry isn't even clean yet but mentally I'm already gone. The last week or so has been extremely emotionally and mentally taxing leaving me with a short fuse and very little patience for needy or noncompliant clients, people making ignorant comments, incompetence or the stresses of normal daily life. Gimme a break! I need a vacation, STAT!

I am under no delusions that Christmas vacation will be stress free. Travel and time with family (no matter how much ya love 'em) can be stressful but at least it will be a different set of stressors. I welcome a change of scenery about now. I just want to forget my worries for a while and soak up some Christmas spirit. Hopefully I will return with a feeling of renewal and be better equipped to do battle with demons.....

Serenity Now!

2011-12-15T10:59:00.000-08:00

Some times situations arise and it's hard to know how to handle them. In this situation, the problem is not MY problem but it DOES have a HUGE impact on my life.

I think it might actually be easier if the problem were my own. At least then I would have some control over the situation. As it stands, I feel helpless and scared not knowing how this particular situation is going to pan out and what it might mean for my future.

I wish I could elaborate instead of speaking in generalities but, that wouldn't be fair to some other folks.

I've always been a fan of the Serenity Prayer.

"God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.

Amen."

Right now I'm working on that "wisdom to know the difference" part and it's pretty tough.

Speaking of serenity.... Enjoy:

Counting the Days

2011-12-12T13:40:00.000-08:00

Twelve days from today is Christmas Eve, the day I hit the road northbound to my home state of NC for a week of Christmas vacation. I always get a lot of good thinking done on the 7 and a half hour journey.

There's a lot to look forward to. I haven't seen my family since I was up for my Grandpa's funeral in the spring. I can't wait to meet my new baby niece, Caroline, who was born in October and to see how much Julia (nearly three now!) has grown. There will be good food and decorations and music and presents. I can hardly wait.

Downside? Gene has decided not to go with me so I'll be missing him. But, if he doesn't want to be there, it's probably best that he doesn't go. I certainly can understand where he's coming from and I don't really blame him.... but it still stinks. (Insert pouty face here.)

We've been in full holiday mode at our house getting Christmas shopping finished up, making cookies, making cards and wrapping gifts. We had our Christmas with Gene's youngest daughter and her family as they passed through town over the weekend. Busy but fun times.

Speaking of busy.... Gotta go!

Do you know what I know?

2011-12-05T09:02:00.000-08:00

Here we are, it's December and the holidays are in full swing. I love Christmas and am determined to make the most of it despite what some of the local Grinches say. I wish certain people could greet the holidays this year with the same enthusiasm I saw last year. So what if the cats are demolishing our sad little fake Christmas tree? So what if we are having a low budget Christmas? That stuff is not what it's all about.

I am very much looking forward to going to NC to spend Christmas with my family, and not just because I desperately need a vacation. (For the record, I really, really, really need a vacation!)

Our refrigerator decided to ring in the holidays by going on the fritz last week. It remains to be seen rather this will be an inexpensive repair or if it has to be replaced. I was afraid this might be the straw that broke the camels back for Gene but we just sort of threw our hands up and laughed. It may have been hysteria..... but it was still better than crying.

On the bright side, we've had some luck with our Etsy store lately (see link to the right of the screen) and that should help us deal with things like fridge repair. Yay!

I will close out this post by listing my top 5 favorite Christmas songs:

1. Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Go Tell It On The Mountain

3. The First Noel

3. I Saw Three Ships

4. The Twelve Days of Christmas

5. Away In A Manger

What are your favorites?

Singin' the Blues

2011-11-30T08:55:00.000-08:00

I have struggled with depression all my life. Of course, it wasn't until my mid twenties that I really understood what I was dealing with. I always just felt like something was 'wrong' with me. Overwhelming feelings of sadness, inability to deal with stress, unable to enjoy things that I knew I should be enjoying, etc. etc. It felt like a dark cloud was hovering over my life.

My symptoms are fairly well managed now through the miracle of modern medicine. Sure, I still get blue from time to time but in the way that I think pretty much every one does.

Having dealt with this myself helps me better understand what others with similar issues are going through. It is so painful to watch some one I care about go through this, knowing there is nothing I can say or do to make it any easier on them. Some one who is battling depression can't just 'snap out of it' or decide to be happy. It just doesn't work that way. No matter how many times you tell them that things aren't really as bad as depression makes them seem, it wont change the way they feel.... as though the whole world is weighing down on them. (I always thought of that state as a swirling back vortex that was constantly trying to suck me in and swallow me whole. Many times I thought it would.)

Not every one has health insurance and can afford to go to a doctor and pay for medications and so forth. What are those folks supposed to do??

All I can do is constantly offer my support and my reassurance that things WILL get better. Meanwhile, I feel completely helpless watching the dark swirling vortex sucking the life out of some one I care about.

I really don't know what to do.

It's Almost Turkey Time!

2011-11-21T09:40:00.000-08:00

I've seen a lot of talk on the news about the fact that more and more, Thanksgiving is being overshadowed by Christmas. This is mainly because some stores are opting to start their Black Friday sales on Thanksgiving day. This is wrong, in my humble opinion, for two reasons. 1) This move cuts into store employees family time on Thanksgiving day; and 2) Black Friday should be on FRIDAY, hello?!?

I'm not saying there should be no Christmas themed fun prior to Thanksgiving. In fact, as some one who makes her own Christmas cards, I do start a couple months ahead so that I can take my time and enjoy the process rather than trying to get them all done in a couple weeks time. In fact, I worked on Christmas cards over the weekend.

Since I really don't enjoy crowds, I usually avoid the whole Black Friday experience anyway. Don't get me wrong, I love a good bargain but for me the stress of the crowds sucks the joy right out of it.

I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving and that you are able to spend it with some one you love. Thant's what I'll be doing.

Streessssssss!

2011-11-16T09:02:00.000-08:00

Ok fine, I admit it. I am stressed. Super stressed even.

It's like I am out in the ocean on a sinking ship. The ship is leaking and we all want to plug the leaks but I am the only one with any leak plugging materials. I'm desperately running from leak to leak and swiftly running out of materials myself. It's a lot of pressure and I am feeling the weight of it more and more.

You know that opening scene from Pirates of the Caribbean? Captain Jack Sparrow barely making it to the dock as his ship goes under? You get the picture.....

I'm not mad at any one over this situation. It's not any one's fault. But, I am ultimately frustrated with the situation and struggling to keep a positive attitude and not become resentful. This is even harder when one's co-captain is also down in the dumps.

We've all heard the phrase 'The Lord helps those who help themselves'. Certainly my crew mates are doing all they can, as am I, so I have to believe we are on the brink of things turning around. We just need to break this cycle of negativity and get some positive momentum going. There'll be no stopping us then!

Any time now..... would be good....

A Month of Thankfulness

2011-11-04T08:41:00.000-07:00

I noticed that many of my friends on Facebook are listing something they are thankful for every day for the month of November. This seems like a wonderful idea so I think I'll join in. Today being the 4th day of the month, I have a little catching up to do and thought I would do that here.

1. I am thankful for our loving God, for his grace and forgiveness without which I would have no hope. Thank you Lord!

2. I am thankful for my family. I am so lucky to have had kind loving Grandparents, to have grown up in an intact family (a rare thing these days it seems), for a brother I can admire and call my friend. I am thankful for my dear sister-in-law and two beautiful nieces. I am thankful for my extended family of aunt, uncle and cousins for while we may not be in touch often, they are always in my heart. Thank you Lord!

3. I am thankful for having Gene in my life. I am so lucky to have found him as a friend first and now as a significant other. Our common interests and shared goals make us a great team. I know relationships can't be hearts, flowers and rainbows all the time and that's not what I expect but we really are a good fit. I look forward to seeing what the future holds for us. Thank you Lord!

4. I am thankful for my job. I reserve the right to whine and moan about it (because if I don't let off a little steam some times I might explode!) but, I do know how lucky I am to be gainfully employed when so many are not. Thank you Lord!

I can't imagine I will have any problem at all finding a month's worth of things to be thankful for. The trick will be remembering to post it.

Craft-Therapy Anyone?

2011-10-31T12:56:00.000-07:00

Crafting is such a great stress reliever for me. There has been some stress at Fort Albertson of late. (No, no don't worry, things are still peachy between Gene and I. There has just been some business to take care of.) I'm not sure I can say crafting is any cheaper than therapy but it's a lot more fun for certain.

Twas the day before Halloween and what was I doing? Making polymer clay goodies including a turkey and a snowman.

Not only that, I tuned Pandora on to some Christmas music for inspiration and worked on some Christmas cards as well. Not exactly in the Halloween spirit I suppose but, Halloween has never been one of my favorite holidays. In fact, the things I like most about it are watching The Great Pumpkin (Charlie Brown) and knowing that we have entered the gateway to the holiday season. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years, here we come.

I've been thinking a lot about the up-coming Christmas. This will be our first Christmas without Grandpa. It just wont be the same, especially on Christmas Eve when we all gather at Grandma and Grandpa's house.

: (

Last year was exciting for me because I got to take Gene up to NC with me. It was our first Christmas together. He got to meet my family and we even got to see snow!

This year, he's not so interested in going and while I guess I can't really blame him, it still bothers me some. I hope I am not in (another) one of those relationships where I will never get to be with my significant other for Christmas because my partner doesn't want to spend Christmas in NC and it's just about the only chance I have to get up there. I know it sounds silly because we are together the whole rest of the year for goodness sake but... it's Christmas!!... and I'm a sentimental fool. So, I am trying to get to a compromise where he will at least come up for a couple days, even if not the whole week.

Hmmm. I feel more craft-therapy coming on. Tonight though, I am thinking we will embrace the Halloween spirit at least enough to plop down on the couch and watch a scary movie while we hide from trick-or-treaters because there's no candy in our house...... Ha.....

Progress

2011-10-20T08:49:00.000-07:00

I know, you thought I'd never get around to it but here they are, pictures of the progress we have made in the half-bath. I have to say, the room is really really tiny so getting a good picture is near impossible.

The more I look at the paint color, the more it grows on me. Again, it's not what we had in mind but it works.

We still need to paint the trim. I think we are sticking with white for that.

Still need to get a towel hook, some shelving and do something about the medicine cabinet area but the bathroom is fully functional and I'm sure that has made a world of difference for the entire household.

In other news, I FINALLY got Gene to the eye doctor. Having a dozen pair of CVS readers scattered about the house, none of which really do the trick, is just not working. Having a pair of glasses with an actual prescription that he can wear all the time is going to be SO much better. He can't yet imagine... but he'll see. (Pun intended.)

I ordered new specs for myself as well. Even though I wear contacts, not having glasses to fall back is a bad plan. I'll be sure to post pictures of us in our visionary splendor when our glasses arrive.

That's all for now. Thanks for checking in.

Wanderlust

2011-10-14T10:35:00.000-07:00

I know, I know.... still no new pictures. I am a slacker. I thought I'd at least pop in and say hello.

Work has been so busy the past few weeks that I can hardly see straight. At the end of every day I am just plain mentally worn out and emotionally drained. More and more I feel the need for a vacation. I'm sure it's partly the desire to escape from work for a while but I'm also known to have a bit of a wanderlust and it has been a while since I went anywhere at all.

Gene and I were forced to cancel our cruise plans of earlier this year due to unforeseen financial and social situations and I'm ok with that but eventually I will get that man on a cruise ship. I love the feeling of being removed from the 'real world' when on a cruise, not to mention getting to experience new places. See? Wanderlust!

In the meanwhile, I'd settle for a couple nights out of town... pretty much anywhere out of town. However, with no real time off until Christmas, it looks like I'm going no where soon..... unless we work out a weekend trip. Every time I think about planning one, something else comes up. *sigh*

So, I keep pluggin' along. I think I can, I think I can........

Personal goal for this weekend? Pictures for blog!

2011-09-30T07:58:00.000-07:00

For the past week or so I have been trying to fight off some bug or something. Headaches, sweats and shakes, etc.. There are some funky bugs going around town. Meanwhile I am trying to ignore all the news stories of west nile virus and tainted cantaloupe and meat. It's enough to make a person a hypochondriac!!

The bathroom project is rolling along but I have failed to take any more pictures yet. After much deliberation over a pile of paint swatches from Lowes, we chose a color called "cottage yellow". The swatch looked more like a creamy color than a yellow. The actual paint? Well, that looks more like orange sherbet. Not exactly what we had in mind but maybe that's a good thing as it forced us to be a bit more adventurous with our colors. I think once we get the trim painted white and get some shelving and such put it, it's going to be great.

Maybe it's another symptom of this 'fall fever' I have but lately I really hate all of my clothes. Ok, maybe not all of them but you know what I mean ladies. At least if the weather would cool off I could bust out some longer sleeved shirts. I am stuck in a clothing rut, rotating the same few tired outfits week after week. It has gotten old. I feel some budget-conscious shopping coming on. Wish me luck.

Last weekend we rented classic movie 'The Music man'. I thouroughly enjoyed the movie but I have one question.... What the heck is up with the song Shipoopi ???

Have a great weekend every one!

Fall Fever

2011-09-16T15:34:00.000-07:00

I've heard of spring fever but, is there such a thing as fall fever? If so, I think I may have it. The temperatures have barely begin to show an inkling of lowering here in northeast Florida but something just feels different. Suddenly my mind is a whirl with thoughts of fall themed craft projects, hearty fall foods and *gasp* holiday planning.

"Hang on!" You say, "It's only mid September." Yeah.... only? Do you realize how few pay days there are between now and Christmas my friend? It will be here before we know it. Much like the first eight and a half months of this year have flown by in the blink of an eye.

Speaking of time flying, Gene and I have been together over a year already. It hardly seems possible. Then again we have been friends for so long that some times it feels like we have been together much longer. We just have SO much fun together. This is what love is supposed to feel like!!

We have some fun projects going on at the house currently. The main one being FINALLY getting Jennifer's bathroom in working condition. Hopefully we will even get it painted this weekend. I'll be sure to post some pictures of the finished room. Meanwhile here's the finally functional sink and Gene's amazing tile work.

That's all for now. Gonna go have some FUN!!

Defeated by Hitler

2011-09-02T08:45:00.000-07:00

I enjoy reading. I also like to think that despite my love for light fluffy books, I can hold my own when it comes to 'serious' reading as well. I mean, I actually enjoyed things like The Scarlet Letter and Beowulf in school while many of my classmates were crying out torture.

For years I have wanted to read Mein Kampf, the book written by Adolf Hitler. Mind you this is NOT because I in any way agree with Hitler but more out of morbid curiosity. What was so compelling about this man that he could convince so many people to go along with what in my mind is such obvious insanity? When a copy of the book turned up in my late Grandpa T's things, I decided it was time to see what this thing is all about.

I have been trying to read the book for 6 months. I can't do it.

In my feeble defense, the translator's notes at the beginning of the book say (paraphrasing) that the translation is correct, Hitler was really just a bad writer.

Let us say that we can assume Hitler was a far more compelling speaker than author.

In the little bit of the book I have been able to get through, Hitler spends most of his time attempting to illustrate why his is smarter than every one else and depicting how he enjoyed manipulating conversations with those who opposed his views.

I can make it through a chapter or so before I am falling asleep. It is just plain painful reading. So, I admit defeat. I can not make it through Mein Kapmf. Maybe I should get the cliffs notes? Just kidding.....

Mmmmmmm Food!!

2011-08-28T11:58:00.000-07:00

Just stopping in today to let those of you following my blog know about a new blog that Gene and I share. It's called Cooking Our Way and it's all about food. I hope you'll check it out.

Too Busy to Blog

2011-08-10T13:38:00.000-07:00

My goodness! It's been a month since my last blog post. How did that happen? Where has the time gone? It feels like the days are just speeding by.

I've had very little time to be lazy lately and even when I do there are things I feel like I should be doing instead. Especially when I look at Gene who can hardly sit still for 10 minutes, forget taking an afternoon to do nothing. Frankly, I just need that every now and then, to sit back and just breathe and let my batteries recharge.

While Gene has been busy honing his hypertufa skills, I've been adding some amateur beading to my crafting repertoire. Examples of both our work can been seen in our Etsy store (link can be found on the right hand side of this screen). Don't worry, it's free to browse! We have made several sales over the past few weeks which is exciting for us.

I've also been very busy in the kitchen. Part of Gene's healthy lifestyle includes avoiding processed (white) flour as much as he can. This has led me to do some experimenting with whole wheat flour. Some things have turned out better than others. I have been very pleased with my breads and with the oatmeal cookies but not so pleased with the peanut butter cookies. If we can find the time, we are thinking of starting a food blog about our culinary adventures. One or the other of us is always up to something in the kitchen or on the grill.

I've also been busy continuing my quest for self improvement. In addition to my weight loss efforts, I have also taken care of my yearly eye exam AND entered into a round of treatment with..... the dentist. I HATE going to the dentist and having avoided it far too long, I had quite a lot of work to be done. So much so that I had to open a line of credit through the dentist office. As much as I hate laying there with some strangers hands in my mouth while they poke, scrape, drill and spray water all over my face, the financial portion of my visit was by far the most painful part. Some one else now owns a large portion of my mouth. If I don't pay the bill, do you think they will repossess my fillings and give my plaque back?

I'm outta time............

The Dog Days of Summer

2011-07-11T08:47:00.000-07:00

Oh yes, it's summer time in Florida. Hot, humid and sticky. Nope, I'm not complaining. Just stating a fact. With all this summer heat, it was time for Miss Katie to get a nice cool hair cut. (That's Alley Cat on the left.)

Gene and I ventured out into the heat on Saturday taking some of our Etsy inventory along with some other items to one of the local flea markets. It rained early in the day which I imagine prevented some folks from coming out but once things cleared the crowd picked up a bit. We didn't strike it rich but we did ok and certainly learned a lot of things that will be helpful if we go again.

Potentially awkward moment of the day? Gumby sighting. Just when you thought it was safe to go into the water... haha.

Gene and I were standing in our booth when I looked up and saw Gumby and some guy sauntering down the row, thankfully looking in the other direction. My immediate reaction was to turn my back toward him and hope he would pass on through without noticing us. It seemed to work.

I have not seen Gumby since I moved out of his place almost a year ago. I said everything I needed to say to him before I left. The best case scenario I can envision for us running into each other would be a horribly awkward exchange of insincere pleasantries. I fail to see any point in that. Plus there I was, standing next to the man I adore, a man with important qualities Gumby lacks such as a fully functional non-gumby-like spine. There's no point in rubbing his face in that. So I kept my back turned until the coast was clear and then I silently thanked God for several unanswered prayers.

Life is ~~good~~ great! And you know what they say about living well.
: )

Stampfest 2011!

2011-06-29T10:13:00.000-07:00

Almost every year (I missed last year) my BFF and I head to Stampfest, the rubber-stamp convention in Orlando. The event is a stampers dream. Classes to try new products and techniques followed by two days of shopping til ya drop... or run out of money... which ever happens first. It's always a fun time. This year was quite the adventure.

This year's event was held at the Orlando Sun Resort. You can read my review of the hotel here: Orlando Sun Resort Should Be Your LAST Resort. Our experience there was so bad, you couldn't PAY us to ever stay there again. But despite the poor accommodations, the trip was over all awesome.

I very rarely get to see my BFF as we now live on opposite sides of the Country. (Sheesh, could you move ANY further away and still be in the U.S.? Ok, well there's still Hawaii and Alaska I guess....) Anyway, what little time I get with her is always precious and I hope it wont be a year before I see her again.

We saw a lot of familiar faces at Stampfest. Some vendors have been going there as long as I have if not longer. Some favorites include Inky Antics , Just For Fun Rubber Stamps and Stamp On It . I was particularly impressed with newcomers Local King Rubber Stamps . The Canadian based couple were a delight and their stamps are great!

It was interesting to see that I am not the only stamper who has been dabbling in jewelry making lately. One booth actually had quite a bit of jewelry making supplies.

I've been playing with my new toys a little. Here are a few pics:

Making paper flowers

Above made using a "geo die-cut"

Below tiny gift box made into a cow

That's it for now. More pics later as I continue to play!

Where my head's at

2011-06-16T10:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, despite my best efforts, I find myself thinking. It's something I try to avoid... lol. At any rate, I recently found myself pondering how different my life is now from what it was this time last year.

This time last year, I was desperately trying to cling to a relationship that I now know was already long dead. I'm not even sure now why I was trying so hard. Maybe fear of the unknown. Maybe the stigma having of yet another failed relationship. Certainly it wasn't because I was happy..... I wasn't and had not been for some time.

My recent reflection lead me to pull up a couple of old blog posts from last July. About the time reality set in. The Winds of Change Are Blowing and Who Am I? No, Seriously... give a very clear picture of where my head was at then.

I've been through a lot since then. Some good and some bad. I picked myself up and moved on. I saw two of my Grandparents buried. I ended one of the very few friendships I actually thought would be life-long. I reaffirmed my belief that it's ok for people to come and go from our lives...at least until you find the one that's really meant to stick. Each person that passes through our lives is there for a reason at that time... a helping hand... a lesson to learn. Some times holding on is just not the right thing to do.

I made choices, good ones and bad ones. I'd like to think I am at least a little wiser for it all. I've done a lot of soul searching. I've embraced change. I'm definitely on the right track to knowing who I really am.... no, seriously. That's got to count for something.

Of course I failed miserably in my resolve to swear off men "for a nice long time" but you know.... I'm actually ok with that.

Until next time, thanks for stopping by......

I rescued a human today

2011-06-10T06:27:00.000-07:00

Her eyes met mine as she walked down the corridor peering apprehensively into the kennels. I felt her need instantly and knew I had to help her. I wagged my tail, not too exuberantly, so she wouldn't be afraid.

As she stopped at my kennel I blocked her view from a little accident I had in the back of my cage. I didn't want her to know that I hadn't been walked today. Sometimes the shelter keepers get too busy and I didn't want her to think poorly of them.

As she read my kennel card I hoped that she wouldn't feel sad about my past. I only have the future to look forward to and want to make a difference in someone's life.

She got down on her knees and made little kissy sounds at me. I shoved my shoulder and side of my head up against the bars to comfort her. Gentle fingertips caressed my neck; she was desperate for companionship. A tear fell down her cheek and I raised my paw to assure her that all would be well.

Soon my kennel door opened and her smile was so bright that I instantly jumped into her arms. I would promise to keep her safe. I would promise to always be by her side. I would promise to do everything I could to see that radiant smile and sparkle in her eyes. I was so fortunate that she came down my corridor. So many more are out there who haven't walked the corridors. So many more to be saved. At least I could save one.

I rescued a human today.

Thank you to my friend Trudy for sharing this with me.

Dear JAX Bank, I'm Dumping You

2011-06-08T11:25:00.000-07:00

With a list of ended relationships that could rival Elizabeth Taylor's, I guess you could say I am pro at breaking up. Now mind you, not all the ones on my list were romantic relationships, we are also counting former friendships, business relations and other such acquaintances. The latest association on my chopping block? The Jacksonville Bank.

A couple of my cat-lives ago, I let my boss convince me to leave the credit union I had been with for ages in favor of the Jacksonville Bank. Why? Because she said if I had my account there, she could have my pay directly transferred from her business account to my account. Woohoo for direct deposit! No more racing to the bank on Friday afternoons! Well, as it turns out, after I made the switch, my boss found out the direct transfer is not a service the JB offers free of charge.... so.... that never happened. And there I was, having left my fee-free CU for a bank that was charging me $10 per month to hold my money. That was annoying enough. Then, a couple years ago, it got worse. Long story short, the JB had decided, without warning to change their funds availability policy. From that point on, when I deposited my paycheck, which is drawn on that very bank, the funds were not available to me until the next day. So basically JB made my pay day Saturday rather than Friday and for those of you that live on a more or less paycheck to paycheck basis, you know that can from time to time be a real problem or at the very least, annoying as heck.

I have not-so-silently stewed about the situation for the past couple years without doing anything about it because let's face it, changing banks is a real pain in the rear. However, with my most recent move, there really is no location of the JB that is in any way convenient to me. So at long last, I took the leap and went back to credit union living giving JB the old heave-ho once and for all.

If I had any reservations about the switch, which I didn't, they would have been taken care of by my final JB experience. I had to sign a form instructing the JB to close my account. The bank employee, as I am sure she is required to do, asked me why I was leaving JB. I told her (politely) it was mainly due to their funds availability policy. She became incredulous. She could not believe it was THAT big of a problem to wait ONE day for my funds.

Well, you know what lady? The point here is that I shouldn't have to and with the credit union, I DON'T have to so thanks very much and have a great day. *CLICK*

It's not me.... It's YOU.

Breaking up? It ain't so hard to do.

Rain Dance

2011-06-06T13:53:00.000-07:00

We need some rain and we need it pretty badly. Therefore I am not even going to consider complaining about the dark clouds and the thunder that are rolling in right now. Wild fires in neighboring counties and states have had the city covered in varying degrees of smoke and ash for the past month or more. A little relief from above is welcomed.

I actually enjoy a good thunderstorm now and then. There's something sort of relaxing about it.

Gene and I have been busy cranking out hand crafted items to list in out Etsy store. Our inventory is expanding and we sure are having fun!

In other news, I am feeling kind of on the fluffy side these days. Hence my decision to re-join the Weight Watchers way of life. I am trying the online program this time as opposed to attending meetings. I hope I can equal my past success.

Every one has their own idea about what the "best" weight loss program is. It seems like every time I say "Weight Watchers" I get a handful of people either telling me what's wrong with Weight Watchers or why I should use their favorite weight loss plan instead. The fact is, no one plan is right for every person. We are all different. What might work for me might not work for you and visa-versa. That doesn't mean either of us is doing it 'wrong" if we are reaching our persoanl goals. Just my opinion.

For me Weight Watchers is the easiest plan to follow and to stick with for long periods of time. I know it works for me as long as I pay attention to what I am doing.

I know exactly where I have gone wrong and gotten off track in the past. It usually involves either a financial crisis that causes me to cut WW out of my budget or... more likely.... I get depressed (usually about some stupid MAN) and revert to my old habit of turning to food for comfort. Well, I'm not DOING that any more! I am making myself a priority and man or no man it's staying that way this time. (Insert me stomping foot for emphasis here.)

Exciting Endeavour

2011-05-21T06:39:00.000-07:00

Times are tough financially all over the place these days. Every one is looking for ways to bring home a little extra bacon. Gene and I are certainly no exceptions. We decided to try our hand(s) at selling things on Etsy.

Most of you are probably familiar with Etsy but, in case you aren't, it's a web site where people can list hand made and/or vintage items for sale. Each person creates their own online store. Ours is called HyperStuffa. Check it out!

Now in case you're wondering about the strange name of our store, it is sort of a combination of the things we are going to list there. We are currently in the process of creating items with Hypertufa that will be listed there and the rest fell into the category of "stuff" thus Hyperstuffa was born.

The other "stuff" will consist of various items hand made by Gene and myself (like my rubber stamped cards) and vintage items picked from garage or estate sales. We are just getting the store off the ground but we have already made a few sales. We can hardly wait to get the hypertufa items ready to list.

We hope you'll enjoy "window shopping" at our store, even if you don't buy anything. You never know what might show up there.

No, we don't expect to get rich doing this but we DO expect to have a lot of fun and if we make a few dollars in the process, that's groovy.

Finally Home

2011-05-10T13:44:00.000-07:00

It has been a busy 7 weeks and a lot has happened but I am finally feeling "at home" in my new home. I can finally take some time to sit back, breathe deeply and think about how lucky I am to have ended up where I am. How is it I so often lose sight of the fact that things always work out as they are meant to?

Miss Katie annd the two resident kitty cats came to a mutual and peaceful understanding a lot faster than I even dared to hope. I'm getting settled into a regular routine. I think we are all getting accustomed to each others ways

My new home is so peaceful and quiet, especially when compaired to my most recent former abode. No roomies screaming at 2:00 a.m., no big dogs making messes, no rowdy puppies on destructive rampages, no kid ripping the tile off the bathroom wall.... Ahhhhh. It's nice to be somewhere that I don't feel like an intruder in my own home. The whole thing was quite a learning experience.

One thing I kind of already knew that this experienced helped me affirm is the fact that I have neither the patience nor the energy to deal with young children, even the comparitively good ones, on a daily basis. Thank you Lord, for sending me a man with two beautiful grown daughters and a grandson to enjoy!

One of my delights is sitting in my rocking chair by the back sliding glass door and watching the birds (and squirrels) enjoy our two bird feeders. We have a nice variety of feathered friends. So far we have identified the following visitiors: Blue-Jays, Cardinals, House-Finches, Tufted Titmouse(s? or would that be Titmice?), a woodpecker and some black-capped chicadees. There was also a small yellow bird there one day but we have not seen it again and do not know what it was.

I'm also ready to get back into crafting and into the kitchen. It's so much easier to be creative when you aren't depressed. I've made several loaves of wheat bread in the past couple weeks. Last night I experimented with vegitarian lentil chili. It turned out really well if I do say so myself.

A couple of exciting projects are in the works but I will save that for another post. Until then, thanks for stopping by and remember, everything works out as it is meant to... every time.

The News of Late

2011-05-02T11:01:00.000-07:00

It's what every red-blooded American is thinking about today.... the assassination of Osama Bin Laden.

Is it wrong to be glad that the life of another human-being has ended? I don't know the answer to that. If a person has done all the evil that Bin Laden is believed to have done, I have to think the world is better off without him in it. The Bible says "Judge not lest ye be judged." but it also says "And if any mischief follow, then thou shalt give life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe."

I'm not entirely sure what real difference Bin Laden's death will make. When you remove one powerful terrorist leader, another will simply take his place. I suppose it might send a message ... don't mess with the U.S. or we will get you.... eventually.. you know, in like ten years.

On the bright side, at least it has taken some of the focus off of the royal wedding. My goodness am I tired of hearing about that. People get married every day. Get over it already!

Meanwhile, back on the homefront, life is simple and peacefull. The weekend was full of garage sales, yard work and cooking. The weather was spectacular. I've been enjoying a wide variety of birds feasting at our two bird feeders. One of these days I will get my camera hooked up to the computer and share some new pictures of our garden and feathered friends and such.

That's all the news I know.... Thanks for stopping by!

Life and Reese's Peanutbutter Eggs

2011-04-21T12:54:00.000-07:00

It was a hectic couple weeks leading up to my boyfriend's grandson's (Yes, my boyfriend has a Grandson. His name is Maxton. He just turned two. He is too cute for words.) birthday party which was held at our house. Things are still a little disoragnized from my moving in. Thankfully the party went well. I think every one had a good time and Max sure made out like a bandit on gifts. Even though the party was a success, I will have to admit, I heaved a huge sigh of relief when it was over and the clean up was complete.

I'm trying to recall the last time when life was calm and peaceful and nothing major was going on. Maybe before Christmas? And this is late April. No wonder I am tired! I am due for some down time, right?? I just want to settle into my new routine. I want to make dinner, do crafts, watch tv, sit around with my honey and talk, play scrabble or upwords or something, lay around and read a book. It's just the simple things, ya know?

Hello there three day weekend on the horizon! Maybe I can get some chill time in.

Question: Why is it that I can resist my beloved Reese's Peanutbutter Cups most of the year but, as soon as you shape them like an Easter egg, I gotta have 'em? Hello brain, IT'S THE SAME THING, JUST IN A DIFFERENT SHAPE!!

Well, I better go but before I do, I want to wish every one a happy Easter. Don't forget, it's not really about the bunny and the Reese's eggs and the extra day off.......

A little Poe

2011-04-12T12:17:00.000-07:00

This poem popped into my head the other day and it has been stuck there since. Enjoy!

From Childhood's Hour

Edgar Allan Poe

From childhood's hour I have not been

As others were; I have not seen

As others saw; I could not bring

My passions from a common spring.

From the same source I have not taken

My sorrow; I could not awaken

My heart to joy at the same tone;

And all I loved, I loved alone.

Then—in my childhood, in the dawn

Of a most stormy life—was drawn

From every depth of good and ill

The mystery which binds me still:

From the torrent or the fountain,

From the red cliff or the mountain,

From the sun that round me rolled

In its autumn tint of gold,

From the lightning in the sky

As it passed my flying by,

From the thunder and the storm,

And the cloud that took the form

(When the rest of Heaven was blue)

Of a demon in my view.

Mommy Issues?

2011-04-07T08:29:00.000-07:00

I think each individual is ultimately responsible for their own choices and actions. This business of blaming the parents for everything is a bunch of hog-wash in my opinion. You're not a shoplifter because your Dad didn't love you enough when you were a kid. You're a shoplifter because you choose to steal stuff. (Just an example, I don't really know any shoplifters.... that I know of.)

I do however believe that things parents say or do to kids in their formative years can leave a lasting impression and, to a certain extent, have a lasting effect on things such as feelings of self-worth... or a lack thereof.

Example: At some point in my youth, my Mother and I had a conversation during which she told me that my parents' goal in having a child was to have a boy to carry on the family name and that they would have kept trying for a boy until they got one. If my brother had been born first, they would have stopped at one.

Now, you gotta admire my Mother's honesty but...some truths might be better left unsaid. Mom probably forgot the conversation right away but it stuck with me. Since then I have felt like I started disappointing my parents when I popped out as a girl and I have been on a roll ever since. I've never felt like anything I've done has ever been good enough. I wonder if I subcosciously set myself up for failure because of that mind-set? (Hmm, getting a little too deep and introspective up in here.) Still, you don't see me out shoplifting, doing drugs, killing people, etc. and even if I did, it still wouldn't be my parent's fault. That would be a choice I, as my own person, would have made.

To this day, my Mother can still push my buttons and get under my skin quicker than anyone. Even though I am well aware of the "roll" I've been on since birth and have long since given up trying to please every one, getting a letter from my Mom yesterday stating in black and white that she and Dad are "disappointed but not surprised" about my life choices, still kinda stings. I don't know why I let it bother me.

Mom's choice of words, "disappointed but not surprised", is kind of funny considering I feel that exact way about quite a few people. But then, I don't usually bother telling them... and I'm not their Mother either.

With my brain on over-load from all this deep thinking, I'm going to close this post, take a deep breath and get over it.

I see the SUN!

2011-04-01T08:20:00.000-07:00

The rain and storms that have rolled through here the past few days seemed fitting for the state of mind I've been in lately. However, the sun is shining brightly today and I'm seeing it in both the literal and the figurative senses. Life is good. I have so very much to be thankful for and I'm not going to forget that just because a few things haven't gone my way.

Yesterday I made a run for the border in search of comfort food. I assume most every one is aware of the scandal regarding Taco Bell's "beef". I now some people are scared away by that but as for me, I have eaten their food for years and it hasn't killed me yet and frankly... it tastes good. I was however, rather amused by the sign in the drive-thru window which stated in large print "THANK YOU FOR SUING US" and was followed by a much smaller print paragraph about the quality of their meat. Way to go TB, at least you have a since of humor about it. Marketing genius I say.

Meanwhile, today is my least favorite "holiday" of all, April Fools Day. I detest practical jokes and pranks and find them cruel most of the time. Why must there be a day to celebrate being mean to each other? Who enjoys being made a fool of? I dunno. I guess I just don't get it.

Well, I'm off to enjoy the sunshine in my life!

Adaptability

2011-03-29T11:10:00.000-07:00

History has shown that those (animals, plants, organisms, etc.) which are best able to adapt to their inevitably changing environment are the ones most likely to survive.

Change in our own lives is also inevitable. People we know, jobs we have, things we own, they all come and go. You either learn to adapt yourself to each new phase of reality or you're miserable.

I've gotten pretty good at adapting. I am a LOT more flexible about things than I used to be. Sure, I still have that initial feeling of dread.. Oh no, change! Change is scary!... but I find I soon move past that and focus on the positive aspects of what ever change it is I am facing. And there always is some positive aspect, even if I don't see it right away. Some times change is even down right awesome once you open yourself up to it.

I've read a few (not a lot) self-help books over the years. One thing really stuck with me from "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff .... and it's all small stuff" by Richard Carlson, Ph.D. Ask yourself, “Will this matter a year from now?” Asking yourself that question puts everything in perspective. More often than not what seems of great concern today will be just an irrelevant blip in your life a year from now.

The things I was all worked up about last July, don't matter to me at all today. The things that have troubled me over the past few months, wont matter to me at all by this July so why fret over them now?

Adapt and move on. After all, it's just a ride......

30 Day Song Challenge

2011-03-24T13:41:00.000-07:00

When life gets a little out of control, it's easy to get depressed and forget about the fun things in life. In search of a little light-hearted fun, I noticed my friend Mark was participating in the 30 Day Song Challenge on Facebook. While I am far too lazy to remember to participate every day for a month, I thought it might be fun to snag the daily categories and see what I could come up with. So here goes:

day 01 - your favorite song
Hmm that changes daily. Today it's 'My Body' by Young the Giant

day 02 - your least favorite song
'Dick's Automotive' by Rugburns... Most horrible song EVER.

day 03 - a song that makes you happy
'Tubthumping' by Chumbawamba (This could also apply at number 13)

day 04 - a song that makes you sad
'Don't Take the Girl' by Tim McGraw. Makes me cry every time.

day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone
'Sweet Jane" by Cowboy Junkies. Reminds me of Gumby because he drove me crazy playing it over and over and over and...

day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
'Tara's Theme' From Gone With the Wind

day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
Sweet Hour of Prayer

day 08 - a song that you know all the words to
Amazing Grace

day 09 - a song that you can dance to
The Hokey Pokey (Come on, it tells you exactly what to do and I do know my right from my left.)

day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
Most anything by Enya... 'Caribbean Blue' is a good example

day 11 - a song from your favorite band
'Undone - The Sweater Song' by Weezer

day 12 - a song from a band you hate
'Jerry Was A Racecar Driver' by Primus

day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
'Islands In The Stream' by the Bee Gees

day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
'Humming' by Portishead

day 15 - a song that describes you
'A Beautiful Mess' by Jason Mraz

day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
'The Sweater' - by Meryn Cadell (Ok maybe I don't really hate it now, I just don't love it as much)

day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
'The Cave' by Mumford and Sons

day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
'Hang On Little Tomato' by Pink Martini

day 19 - a song from your favorite album
'Such A Pity' by Weezer

day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
'Down With The Sickness' by Disturbed

day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
'Half Way Gone' by Lifehouse

day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
'Only Happy When It Rains' by Garbage

day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
The Funeral March (Just kidding....)

day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
I wont be there so I really don't care.

day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
'They're Coming to Take Me Away' by Napoleon XIV

day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
Three Blind Mice

day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
I don't really have any musical aspirations.... I just sing in the car.

day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
I can't think of one....?

day 29 - a song from your childhood
Twinkle-Twinkle Little Star

day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year
'Extraoridinary' by Liz Phair

Changes

2011-03-21T13:23:00.000-07:00

What a difficult week or so it has been. I hardly know where to start. I suppose I should start with the most significant thing that happened. On Sunday, March 13, 2011, my Grandpa went home to be with the Lord. Here is a link to his obituary: Grandpa's Obituary . He was almost 92 years old and he and Grandma were married for 66 years. That's really something! His passing was a blessing in that there will be no more pain and suffering for him and by my Mother's account, he died peacefully in his sleep. We should all be so lucky. Still, it's hard to say goodbye and to think that the world is a little colder for no longer having him in it. I may post more about my memories of him later but right now it's just to hard to think about. My tears are not for Grandpa, they are for those of us left here to carry on without him and that mischievous grin of his.

I make no secret of the fact that I detest funerals and all things thereto related. Let the record reflect that when I die, I wont be the least bit offended if the whole morbid ceremonial mess is skipped. My whirlwind trip to NC for the viewing and funeral was really hard on me. I wish I had a IBenjamin for every distant relative that asked "Do you remember me?" or "Do you know who I am?" Hmm... let's see, I have not seen or spoken to you since I was ten so no, I don't know who you are and now I feel awkward about it. Thanks!

****

I'm going to be a little vague in this portion of my post because while I am supremely frustrated, I am not out to trash any one to the general public.

Any one that knows me well, knows I love Miss Katie (my dog) and I take the care of animals very seriously. If you pause to recall that my ex actually killed one of my dogs through mistreatment, you might understand how the issue has become even more important in my mind. It's not as important to every one else, I understand that. However, ongoing problems directly related to this topic combined with what I feel is a complete lack of respect have been the catalyst to a major change in my life. I am moving back to the proper side of the river!

I have decided that somewhere deep down inside, I must actually enjoy moving. Why else would I continually place myself in situations which will obviously end no other way?? Maybe my Mother is right, maybe I really am a gypsy....

With so much emotional stuff happening at once, it's no surprise that I am feeling a little bit depressed. The thing is, I know that this will pass and soon I'll be excited about things like getting everything in place at my new home. I just have to make it over this little hump first. Then I'll really be ready for life's next adventure.

Ear Candy

2011-03-11T09:47:00.000-08:00

For a while there I gave up on the radio all together. The 'top 40' stations seemed to be playing nothing but rap/hip-hop songs that were all so formulaic and sounded so much alike each singer felt the need to announce their own name repeatedly throughout the song. You know what I'm talkin' 'bout!

Recently, feeling that the selection on my beloved ipod was getting a little stale, I decided to tune in and see what live radio had going for it these days. I was glad I did so.

One thing I was happy to hear was a few songs with a positive message in them. I have to give kudos to Pink and (I can't believe I'm saying this) Lady Gaga. Pink's Perfect and Lady Gaga's Born This Way are both up-beat songs that encourage people to be happy with who they are. Rather or not you agree with any particular artists lifestyle or personal choices doesn't mean you can't appreciate the message in some of their songs, I say.

Here, in no particular order, are some of my favorite tunes currently making the top 40 station rotation:

Mumford and Sons - Little Lion Man
Mumford and Sons - The Cave
Young The Giant - My Body (This band was formerly known as The Jakes, in case you were thinking they sounded familiar.)
Taylor Swift - Back to December
Sick Puppies - Riptide

For the record, I still want to puncture my own eardrums any time I hear Kesha on the radio. That's immediate grounds for changing the station.

That's all for now. Thanks for stopping by!

It could only happen to us....

2011-03-08T07:39:00.000-08:00

What a weekend it was. It felt almost like a mini-vacation because I was house/dog sitting for some friends of mine. If only it had been warm enough to use the pool!

We got a little more adventure than we bargained for this weekend though. An impromptu visit to the emergency room of one of our fine local hospitals with a relative of Gene's came into play. That's where the real adventure happened.

We were attempting to leave the hospital through the ER area where the car was parked. After following signs for the emergency area that seemed to lead us in circles through deserted hallways, we came upon a sign next to a stairwell that said "Exit Ground Floor". Super! We will take these stairs and exit on the ground floor. Right......

Upon reaching the ground floor we found two doors, one was the emergency only fire exit and the other lead to a storage room. Huh? No problem, we will just go back up the stairs. WRONG! Would you believe the door had locked behind us leaving us trapped in the stairwell?

Knowing the hallway near the door was deserted and not having a clue who to call for help or how long that might take.... we went out the emergency fire exit and yes, it set off the fire alarm.

We ran for the car (well, as best we could while disolving in a pile of mortified giggles) and made our escape. I have no doubt that somewhere there is a security tape of our adventure eliciting riotous laughter from the security staff there.

It could only happen to us......

Marching Along

2011-03-02T08:31:00.000-08:00

Another flip of the calender and March is here. It seems to have come "in like a lion" this year with gusty winds here and severe storms to our north. Let's hope Mother Nature gets this out of her system quickly so March can go "out like a lamb". I hope this heavy yellow coating of pollen doesn't stick around long either.

The weather hasn't been all bad lately and my honey and I have been out and about taking advantage of it. Here are a couple pictures from our weekend visit to Kingsley Plantation.

This one was taken through a hole in a wall. Peek-a-boo!

Enjoying the great outdoors.

Every year I say the same thing, "This year I am going to go to the beach more often and take advantage of living so close to the ocean!". Well this time I really really mean it. If you don't see me posting beach pictures in the next couple months, remind me that I live in Florida for goodness sakes!!

I've gotten very little crafting time in lately. It seems like I am always doing other things. I need to make it a priority to get some craft-therapy time in on a regular basis. I have an exciting project coming up though. I will be making the invitations for a two year old's birthday party. I've got some fun ideas swimming around in my head for that.

That's all that's happening in my amazingly drama-free world these days. Ahhh, the good life!

Spring Fever Baby!

2011-02-24T10:32:00.000-08:00

Even though the official first day of spring is still nearly a month away, I am tickled pink (or should I say pollen yellow?) to report that spring-like weather has arrived here in Florida. With sunny days, high temps in the 70s and lows in the 50s, this is my idea of almost perfect weather.

After months of cold and being stuck indoors, this sunny warmth makes me want to get outside and play. As a renter, I don't have a garden of my own to play in this year so I am looking forward to helping my honey with his yard and garden. Flowers and veggies and possible water-features, oh my!

Speaking of my honey, we celebrated his 50th birthday this past weekend with a little party for family and close friends. Dinner was a tad on the late side so we never made it to the games we had planned but there was good food and good company and I think (I hope) every one had a good time.

Can't wait to see what adventures we will have next!

Valentine's Day.... Humbug?

2011-02-14T08:10:00.000-08:00

Maybe once upon a time, Valentine's Day had some real meaning. As far as I can tell, it long ago became nothing more than a fake holiday perpetuated by Hallmark and Whitman's to sell greeting cards and candy. Do we really need a holiday to remind us to act in a loving way towards our significant other? I mean, I like the color pink and hearts and such as much as the next gal, that's all perfectly nice stuff....but.... really?

It seems to me that Valentine's Day causes extra pressure we just don't need. Women (not this woman, by the way) expect flowers and candy, men expect some sort of extra pampering and if any one is percieved to have dropped the ball.... well there are hurt feelings all over the place. Aren't anniversaries enough of that?? Ha....

I wondered if being in a good relationship would make me feel differently about Valentine's Day this year. Maybe it seems ever so slightly less depressing. In my humble opinion, I'd rather have a man in my life who is good to me on a daily basis because he wants to be, than a man who is overly kind a day or two out of the year because the calender says he's obligated to do so.

That's just how I feel about it.

Thanks for stopping by!

One Day At A Time

2011-02-08T13:28:00.000-08:00

Every time I think life is about to slow down and let me catch my breath, the next hurdle appears on the horizon. Some times I have to remind myself I only have to survive one day at a time. Not that it isn't good to plan ahead but, inviting tomorrows possible problems to spend time with me today doesn't really help.

Friday night I got word that my Grandpa R who has been in and out (mostly in) of the hospital since just after Christmas is not doing very well and will most likely not be with us in the near future. Not only that but now Grandma R (his Wife) is now in the hospital as well. I'm not entirely sure how serious her condition is but I'm kind of wondering how much loss one family must endure in a matter of months. Knowing that an end to earthly suffering means the start of eternal life in Heaven for them is the only thing that makes this even slightly bearable and still the selfish part of me hates to let go.

I have to remind myself, this is about them, not about me. I am so blessed to have grown up next door to Grandma and Grandpa and to have had them as a part of my life for so long. A lot of people don't get such an opportunity.

On the happier side of things, I have been busy making plans for my honey-man's upcoming birthday party. We have also been working on some home improvement projects at his house. I love that sort of thing! (Ok well maybe not the part where the tube of caulk got knocked over above me and whacked me in the arm. That was a few days ago and my arm still hurts!) Otherwise, I've been having a blast.

That's all for now. Until next time, take one day at a time.

One Perfect Day

2011-01-31T16:54:00.000-08:00

If some one had asked me before this past weekend, what my perfect day was, I'm not sure what I would have said. I now have a very clear idea of what my perfect day would be because I lived it. I'm not sure how many people can actually say that.

My sweetie and I started the day without a clear plan. All we really knew was that it felt like spring and outdoors is where we wanted to be. Before too long, a plot emerged. We packed a picnic lunch and drove about an hour south of town. On our way to a nice park complete with walking trails, gardens, a stream, ponds and picnic areas, we happened upon a little antique shop and did some browsing. Then we headed to the park where we ate, we walked, took pictures and talked. The weather was absolutely beautiful and life was nothing short of tranquil. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect day. I hated to see it come to an end.

If I had to pick one day to live over and over like in the movie Groundhog Day (yes, I know Bill Murray didn't get to pick the day), this is the day I would choose.

Here are a few pictures Gene took of me on my Perfect Day:

Thanks for stopping by!

The Continuing Adventures of Pearl

2011-01-26T13:25:00.000-08:00

Pearl is my car. She's a 2006 Toyota Corolla... white, hence the name Pearl.

Pearl and I have been on many adventures together. Road trips, daily commutes, etc. She's been egged and had one of her windows smashed out by a jerk. Yes, we've been through a lot. I love my car.

Currently there's a recall on Pearls computer. This meant a trip back to the dealership where I bought her (Ernie Palmer Toyota).... right down the street from Gumby's house.

I have to say, I felt kind of funny driving back into my former hood... like I didn't belong there, shouldn't be there and such. I had this vision of Gumby spotting me and telling all his friends that I was there stalking him which obviously could not be farther from the truth. Even though I was there for legitimate business, it just felt awkward to be there.
The whole recall experience has been un-fun. I took Pearl in Saturday (to avoid missing work) and after they looked her over for almost an hour I was informed that yes, the computer does need to be replaced but they didn't actually have it in stock and would have to order it. So I have to go back again next Saturday. Ugh!

Even more annoying is the fat list of expensive things I "need" to have done to Pearl that they came up with. Some of this I know is absolute bull. Just because I am a female doesn't mean I am an idiot about these things, thank you very much! One thing I really do need is two new tires. This was not really a surprise. Pearl and I put in a lot of road time.

I will give you one piece of advice here. If you buy a car from Ernie Palmer Toyota and they offer you a "tire protection plan" (now called 'tires for life'?), skip it or be prepared to bend over some time in the future. They totally screwed me on that. When I signed up for it, they did not tell me I had to have all my servicing done through them in order to qualify for the plan. Yes, I am sure about this because I was dating a mechanic at the time and I told them he would do all that stuff. No one said a single word to me about that voiding out my tire protection. Furthermore I am now told by the service guy that the $6 a month I thought I was paying for tire protection is actually for roadside assistance..... which I never asked for and don't need because I have that with my car insurance. Whatever. You can never win with these people. Shame on you Ernie Palmer Toyota, shame on you!

At the time I purchased my car, I was pretty happy with my experience at that dealership. I had thought I would probably buy my next car through them too when the time comes. Now, I just don't know about that. If I do end up there again, you can bet they wont be able to talk me into anything extra!

The great thing is that I have this completely amazing boyfriend who stepped right up and not only called around to find the best price for Pearl's new feet but actually took her to the mechanic and had them put on for me. That sure took a load of stress off my shoulders. What a sweet thoughtful man I have!

Hopefully once the computer recall is taken care of, Pearl will be nice and healthy so we can continue having adventures together.

Drive safely friends!

Hey Babycakes!

2011-01-25T17:33:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine was kind enough to loan me her Babycakes Cupcake Machine to play with for a while.
We had some bananas that were just about past their prime so..... Banana Muffins!

Banana Muffins

I've read a lot of mixed reviews about the Babycakes machine. Granted, I have only used it twice now (once for tiny pies/tarts and now for the muffins) but so far I have been pretty impressed with it. It cooks evenly, makes cute little treats and is easy to clean. I hope to use it a couple more times before returning it to my friend. Sure, it's not something anyone needs to have but, it's nifty and fun to play with.

On the home-front, my room mate has the flu, her kid just had the flu... I feel like a walking germaphobic time-bomb. Crossing my fingers that the bug will pass me by.

Until next time.....

Let's Call It A Comedy

2011-01-21T14:57:00.000-08:00

For a few days while my roomie is looking after a friend who had surgery, I am dog-sitting her puppy and his two boxer dogs. It's quite a zoo around here and when you factor in that one of the dogs is a rowdy puppy and one of the boxers is in poor health and can no longer control her bladder (and sometimes other ) functions..... Here's a glimpse into my day:

This morning I got up, cleaned up a giant river of pee and a rather large pile of poop (the soft kind, not the easy to pick up kind) off the living room floor.

I put the puppy outside to go potty while I fed the big girls their breakfast. I prepared the puppy's breakfast and went to bring her in. She had decided to go digging in the mud and her legs were COVERED in black muck.

Picture me trying to wipe down a wiggly, jumping, muddy puppy with a towel without getting mud all over my clothes. Don't ask me how I accomplished this but I did.

This afternoon when I returned from work, I raised the garage door to pull in and found that the puppy had escaped from her cage (this is the second time actually) and had pooped all over the garage. She had also ripped open a bag of puppy pee-pads, shredded a couple and spread the rest around the garage floor.

At least there were no rivers of pee waiting in the living room.

I'm laughing as I write this and picturing these adventures as a cheesy sit-com episode or something like that. What else can you do in these situations? I've got a few more days to go of this and I might as well see the humor in it or I might lose my mind.

Besides, if I can struggle along with this motley crew of critters, that's a few less things my roomie and friend will have to worry about while they deal with the serious issues involved in surgery and recovery and that's a good thing.

Never a dull moment.....

Sinking In; and Return of the School Bully

2011-01-14T05:09:00.000-08:00

It has been a bit of a tough week. Between getting caught up on office work, dealing with cranky clients that either feel like they have been neglected for two weeks or simply don't want to pay their bills, being insanely cold (for Florida at least) and reflecting on my Grandmother's death and funeral... I feel pretty run down. I never really got a chance to recover from the chaos of the holidays. I realized today as I was about to "lose it" that I am simply mentally and emotionally drained.

Some times you think you are doing just fine.... until suddenly you figure out that you're not.

I'm looking forward to celebrating my 35th birthday this weekend. Plus, it's a 3 day weekend. I plan to relax as much as possible. I really need a break!

I have managed to get a few cards made recently. Thank goodness for that little bit of therapy!

The strangest thing happened to me yesterday. I was contacted, out of the blue, by one of two girls that made life a living hell for me way back in the 8th grade. Just a friend request on FB, no message.

Now what you have to understand is that I was a socially awkward, chubby, zitty, generic clothes wearing, sensitive kid without an ounce of self-esteem. In other words, a real easy target for bullies. Those two girls latched onto me and tortured me daily. There was no escape. It was my first experience with pure cruelty. This had a pretty bad effect on my development at that stage in my life and I can trace several of the issues that I struggled with over the years back to that time. I probably really could have used some therapy back then.

The only time I have given those girls a thought in recent years has been when a story about school bullies comes on the news. Then they immediately come to mind. I'm glad the issue is at least being acknowledged and taken seriously by folks these days. Some situations go way beyond "kids just being kids".

Now I suppose it's entirely possible that this woman may now be a nice enough citizen.... but to me she will always be that torturous bully. Needless to say I have zero interest in cultivating a friendship with this person and I very plainly told her so and why.She can consider it a case of reaping what she sewed with me years ago.

Here's a little ditty that seems to apply. Please note *language alert*, this song is not for little ears! Enjoy....
Kate Miller-Heidke song

Blogarhea

2011-01-10T11:26:00.000-08:00

I've had various versions of this blog floating around in my head for the last week so it's probably going to come out like a big messy blog explosion. Hence the title "Blogarhea".

We buried my Grandmother T. on Wednesday. I told myself I wasn't going to cry... but I did. At the viewing and at the funeral. Even though I know her passing is a blessing in that she is no longer suffering, I just don't handle these things very well. It did not help at all that while in the receiving line, Mother decided not only to describe but to actually demonstrate the expression that froze upon Grandma's face when she passed. This despite my pleading with her to "stop it!" I could have gone my whole life without ever knowing that and been just fine about it! A mental image of this has been burned into my brain. I'm pretty sure I need therapy. Thanks Ma!

Grandma wasn't exactly what you would call the warm nurturing type with most people but she was always awesome to me. I suppose being the only grand-daughter had it's advantages. I remember the last time I got to visit with her. She was in a physical rehab facility and her mind was half gone. I had been there a good 15 minutes before she finally realised who I was but when she did, her face lit up with a smile and she said "That's my girl!" And I sure was.

One thing I have noticed through this ordeal is that while most people are sensitive to you during a time of loss, there are always those few who can make anything be about them. Sure, I know it's only human nature when you find out any thing that your first thought is usually 'How does this effect me?' Fortunately most people have enough of a personal filter to know not to voice that aloud. Some just don't.

I'm trying not to waste too much energy being angry at the self-centered. In fact, if I think about it, they really serve a purpose. That purpose being to help us to appreciate and never take for granted those folks who do step up in our times of need and say "How can I help?" and actually mean it. So to those of you who have selflessly supported me through this, I thank you!

My Grandpa R. was in and out of the hospital during my stay. He's currently back in and they have finally determined he has a cracked pelvis. Can you say "Ouch?"!!

The one bright spot of my trip to NC was that I did get to attend my neices' second birthday party. I don't imagine I will get the chance to do that many years since it's so close to being after my Christmas vacation. It's hard to believe she is two already!

I'll close my rambling for now. I'm looking for my life to return to my version of normal. A chance to breathe would be nice.....

Welcome 2011

2011-01-01T09:38:00.000-08:00

Wow. What a year 2010 was. So much happened. Some bad but mostly good and certainly, every thing for a reason. Rather than reflect on 2010, I'm ready to look ahead to 2011. The future is too exciting to spend much time looking backwards.

I don't make New Years resolutions. It seems like those are pretty much meant to be broken. I do have some simple goals for 2011. I want to be happy. I want to help make those around me happy. I want to continue on my quest to be the best "me" I can be. I want to help the ones I love to reach their own goals.

I think 2011 could be really great. It's sure off to a nice start so far.

Here's my last card made in 2010. I've been playing with some of the new toys I got for Christmas including this snowman stamp by Inkadinkado and the Martha Stewart star punch. The punch is super cool as you can place it anywhere on your paper, NOT just the edges. Brilliant invention using magnets. Why didn't I think of that??

That's all for now. I'm off to do my first crafting of 2011!

A White North Carolina Christmas

2010-12-30T09:50:00.000-08:00

Here's a little glimpse into our white Christmas in North Carolina. It started snowing Christmas morning while Gene, my Father and I were on a walk in the woods and by the time it was through we had about 6 inches of the white stuff on the ground and were snowed in for a couple of days.

I love this shot of me and my honey all bundled up and in the snow.

It was a lot of fun to show Gene around the place where I grew up. I think he enjoyed learning about our little part of North Carolina.

As always, it was toasty warm inside Grandma and Grandpa's house. In this photo: Grandpa, me, my Mom and Grandma.

The art box I got Julia was a big hit, at least for the evening. I was rather impressed that she already knew how to erase and how to put the caps back onto the dry-erase markers. What a smart girl!

I got a lot of great gifts this year and I love them all but, there's a special place in my heart for the "Our First Christmas Together" ornament that Gene gave to me.

This was my first road trip with Gene and the first time he met my family. The whole thing went even better than I imagined and I think it was a good bonding experience for the two of us. I'm looking forward to a lot of future trips together.

On one sad note, my Grandma Taylor is in the hospital and is in her last days. While I have made peace with the idea of her passing and no longer suffering, I do not look forward to her funeral and all the sadness and morbidity that goes along with such ceremonies. However, as unpleasant as it will be for me, I know it will be much harder for my Father as this is his Mother so I will be glad to be there for his sake.

With Christmas behind us and 2010 drawing to a close, it's time to look toward the New Year. I have a good feeling about 2011.

For now, to all a good night!

Happy Divorce Anniversary to Me!

2010-12-21T12:24:00.000-08:00

I was e-mailing with a client this morning about the difficulty of going through a divorce during the holidays when suddenly I realised... yesterday was the five year anniversary of my divorce from Dunderhead.

While the divorce turned out not to be the final chapter in the comedy of errors that was my relationship with Dunderhead, it was a big step in the right direction and my first step toward really moving on. It was the best Christmas present I ever got myself!

Do I have any regrets? Sure. I regret ever marrying that schmuck in the first place. I regret letting him drag me down into his financial vortex. I regret not leaving him sooner. But, the trials we survive only make us stronger in the long run. As I have said many times before, our life experiences help shape who we are and thankfully, I am finally some one that I actually like.

So, Happy Divorce Anniversary to me! And here's to learning our lessons so there's no need to repeat them.

A Festivus for the Rest of Us...

2010-12-19T15:59:00.000-08:00

We had a holiday party here at the house last night. A few good friends, a LOT of food and a good time was had by all I think.

We cooked a massive prime rib. It was SO good. Even better is the fact we have leftovers for the next few days.

Here are a couple of our guests.

Here's me and my room mate all dolled up for the festivities. (After a day of cooking and cleaning like fiends of coarse.)

Here's a nice shot of me and my honey.

Now all I have to do is make it through four days of work and then it'll be off on our grand adventure to the north hills.

Happy Holidays!

Over the river and through the woods

2010-12-17T11:47:00.000-08:00

This time next week I will be on the road northbound to my home state of North Carolina. I always look forward to my visits there. Seeing my family is nice and I especially look forward to seeing my little niece Julia. She is growing so much!

Last time I went up to NC, it was late July and I was in the middle of a breakup. Five months later and my how things have changed. (All for the better, just for the record.)

I'm excited that Gene will be joining me for this Christmas trip. It will be nice for him to meet my family and to see where I came from (not that there is much to see). I can tell him all the stories I want but nothing can compare to seeing things up close and personal. I think he's in for some culture-shock...

With all my Christmas shopping complete, I just have to make it through this weekend's dinner party at the castle (aka my house) and next week's four day work week. Then it's Christmas vacation baby! (Hopefully nothing National-Lampoonish will occur but I am sure to come back with some interesting stories.) I can hardly wait.

A Jolly Time

2010-12-15T15:43:00.000-08:00

One of the many things I love about the holidays is the baking of goodies. Cakes, cookies and pies, oh my!

This weekend, the Mister came over and we baked a TON of cookies. We made three kinds, peanut-butter cut-out cookies, spritz cookies and icebox honey cookies (I like those best). Man did the house smell good.

My room-mate's son got in on some of the cookie action too. He especially enjoyed using the cookie cutters and decorating some of the cookies with icing. It was a blast to see him have fun in the kitchen.

Of coarse, all this holiday baking is the reason I always gain a few pounds during the holidays but, I try to know my limits and not go completely hog wild. Life's no fun if you can't indulge a bit now and then.

We sure are enjoying the holidays around here. Hope you are too!

Christmas cards galore

2010-12-07T14:27:00.000-08:00

I have been working on my Christmas cards lately getting ready to spread some Christmas cheer via the U.S. Postal Service. These are just a few examples. I try not to make any two exactly alike. Not that I could make two alike if I wanted to...

Above is a Christmas cardinal. Below is one I am particularly happy with. I cut the tree image with a set of oval spellbinders dies and made each layer progressively higher using pop-dots.

I like the non-traditional colors on the 'Peace' card.

Here's a shot of our Christmas tree. A nice big one!

That's all for now. Thanks for stopping by!

It's Beginning

2010-12-03T11:19:00.000-08:00

It's beginning to look and feel a lot like Christmas around here!

Every where you turn these days there are Christmas decorations. Twinkling lights, decked out trees, church nativities, fancy store displays and shiny objects galore. I love it! Add to it the recent dip in the temperature and things just plain feel Christmas-like.

Christmas comes with it's own set of stresses. The added strain on finances, the travel plans, etc. When those things start to weigh on me, I try to take a step back and remind myself yet again what Christmas is truly about. I think Linus said it best. Now, how can you be sad when you think of that?!?

****

On a slightly different note, my best friend and my sweet man are going to meet for the first time tonight. I can hardly wait to see them both! I know they will like each other because they are both amazing people. I am a very lucky girl to have such wonderful people to love me. I hope each of you are feeling just as blessed.

Phew!

2010-11-27T11:06:00.000-08:00

I survived Thanksgiving!

Rhonda and I spent the morning cooking up a feast here at home. I was particularly pleased with the way my pumpkin cheesecake turned out. That was a relief since I had never made it before.

After lunch number one I grabbed my deviled eggs and headed over to the Mister's Mother's house. It was a bit intimidating walking into a place full of people and being the outsider... especially knowing how important it was to my boyfriend that I meet some more members of his family.

After being the victim of Gumby's sister's psychotic meddling as well as the harassment and abuse I took from his "friend", I must admit to being a good deal more wary of opening up to the family and friends of any one I am involved with. It's hard not to think about that when faced with these kind of situations.

There wasn't room for any more cooks in the kitchen (that's where my man was) so I found a seat and parked it. It was fun observing the family dynamic. There was plenty of good food, every one was nice and by the time it was over I was feeling at least somewhat less anxious about it all.

Despite having two Thanksgiving dinners, I managed not to go completely overboard with eating. I feel pretty good about that. Of coarse, there's a weeks worth of leftovers here... including some pumpkin cheesecake!

I slept in while the rest of the nation shopped for Black Friday deals. Partly because I can't stand crowds and partly because I don't get paid until Saturday.

So that was my Thanksgiving adventure. I hope yours was a good one!

Happy Thanksgiving To All

2010-11-24T16:16:00.000-08:00

It's Thanksgiving Eve but I doubt I will have time for blogging tomorrow so I thought I'd pop in and wish every one a Happy Thanksgiving.

I'm looking forward to getting in the kitchen and cooking up some Thanksgiving grub with my room mate. This will be a fun time for our little hodge-podge of a family. I really hope my pumpkin cheesecake turns out well!

I will also be whipping up some deviled eggs and toting them over to my boyfriend's Mother's home as my contribution to their family dinner. It has been a while since I participated in a real family gathering for turkey day since all my family lives far away so I am looking forward to that too.

There's a LOT to be thankful for this holiday season but here's my top five (in random order):

A nice home with awesome house-mates;
The health and well-being of my family;
My true friends who have been there for me and supported me even when things were rough;
Falling in love with the right man (finally) ; and
Continued employment (even when it tests the strength of my anti-depressant. LOL)

I hope you all are spending the holiday with some one you love and reflecting on the many things you have to be thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

O.A.T.S.

2010-11-17T15:51:00.000-08:00

Honestly, some days I just don't know. I wish I could just shut my brain off or hit some kind of re-set button when it kicks into over-thinking worry-wort mode. *sigh*

When faced with overactive thought syndrome (Hey, we can call it O.A.T.S!), my crafting is often a good escape. I can focus my energy on my creative outlet rather than my self destructive tendencies.

Here is the most recent product born of the need to escape my own mind:

Thanksgiving is next week.

Thanksgiving is NEXT week?!?

Thanksgiving is NEXT WEEK!!

I'm ready for some turkey! That's good since I need to balance two separate Thanksgiving dinners... It has been a long time since I had to juggle like that. I'm pretty sure there's enough of me to go around though... No pun intended.

Gobble!

Gearing up for the Holidays

2010-11-09T15:04:00.000-08:00

This past weekend was supposed to be the annual Christmas-card-stampfest that my BFF and I have almost every year. I was really looking forward to it, especially since it seems like forever since we have been able to see each other. (She's the jet-setter. I'm the home-body.) Unfortunate circumstances prevented my friend from making it to town but I still managed to get a little start on my Christmas cards. I even had the pleasure of introducing another craft-minded friend of mine to the art of rubber-stamping. I think I can get this person hooked with minimal effort. It sure is nice to have some one here to share that sort of thing with. My Mom and my BFF both love stamping but neither of them are logistically available to me very often.

I absolutely LOVE Christmas and I send out a pretty good number of cards every year so I still have a bit of Christmas card stamping to do. I know people glance at them, sit them on the mantle for a couple weeks and toss them out. Still, I get so much enjoyment out of making and giving them and I figure that's the important thing.

I'm especially looking forward to the holidays this year. Having a kid in the house is a new experience for me but I'm betting it will be pretty fun watching him make the holiday memories he will cherish later in life. It's also exciting to anticipate my first holiday season with my significant other. I'm looking forward to making some cherished memories of my own.

The holidays aren't about how much money you spend or how well you cook, it's about who you're with. That's the part I love the most.

Time Flies

2010-10-31T17:22:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween my friends! As I write this, the kid of the house (currently known as Iron Man) is out with his Mom trick-or-treating. He has promised to bring me back some chocolate. What a good little man!!

The fact that tomorrow is November first completely blows my mind. Where have the past few months gone?? I know they say time flies when you're having fun.... and fun I have had..... but it really seems like I blinked and August, September and October were gone. My Father warned me about time speeding up as we get older but DANG... This is insane... and I'm ONLY 34!

Life certainly has taken an unexpected turn for the better. As the old saying goes, things happen when you least expect them, aren't looking for them, etc... well I can sure testify to the truth in that. If you had asked me back in July, what my life would be like now, my prediction would have been SO wrong. I couldn't' be more glad.

With so much to look forward to, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, next year's cruise, ect., you can bet time will continue flying by. I can't slow it down but I can do my best to make the most of it. The best part is, I know how lucky I am. Thank you God, for pointing me in the right direction!

A Quickie

2010-10-28T16:56:00.000-07:00

I managed to squeeze in a little craft-therapy after work today. Just enough to crank out one good card. I know it's a good one because my room mate's 6 year old son told me so. He even wanted to have it for himself and show it to every one else in the house.

I told him it's all his, after the stickles dries....

The Motivation Behind The Action

2010-10-26T10:08:00.000-07:00

I often wonder what the real motivation is behind people's actions. The thing is, even if you ask, you'll never really know, you can only make educated guesses but those guesses are tainted by your own experiences and points of view.

It's an established fact that I am an over-thinker and suspicious by nature. It wasn't always so but then came those life experiences. So I find myself wondering when people say or do things to me that hit me the wrong way, how did it look from their side? Were they simply being frank without malice? Were they trying to make me feel bad? If so, why? Or, were they just so busy building themselves up that it never even occurred to them they were dragging me down in the process? There's just no way to know for sure and even though I know that, I could (and do) drive myself completely bonkers analyzing the situation and trying to figure out why people say and do the things they say and do. Sometimes, try as I might, I just can't think of any motivation behind some things that is not unkind.

Every relationship we have in life is a two way street. I'm not above examining my own motivations and often times for me, things boil down to emotional self-preservation. I'm not prone to going out of my way to hurt people but I'm sure I have created some casualties along the way in the name of that emotional self-preservation.

Perhaps it comes down to that basic primal instinct of "fight or flight". You hurt me (rather you meant to or not). My gut tells me to hurt you back or shut you out so you can't hurt me again. Put two people with those tendencies together and what you get if you're not very careful and amazingly self-aware, is a vicious cycle. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt and wrote the blog....

I guess the world would be an easier place to navigate if we all put a little more thought into the way our words and actions effect the people in our lives. That is, assuming our motives are pure to begin with.

I do wonder....

2010-10-24T18:24:00.000-07:00

Another weekend is drawing to a close. It's hard not to have a little case of the 'Sunday night blues' knowing that it's back to the grind tomorrow morning. Here's a little look into this weekend's activities.

I managed to get some stamping time in and got my Thanksgiving cards done. Here are a few of those:

I also had the pleasure of attending a rather dramatic t-ball game and spending some good quality time with my sweetie. (That was of coarse the best part of it all.)

I've been meaning to buy some sort of shelving for my CD and DVD collection ever since the move. I finally got around to it this weekend at Wal-Mart. My sweetheart was kind enough to assemble the shelving unit for me. (Thank you Dear!). Finally my music and movies are out of the Winn-Dixie bags they made the move in.

What can I say, it's the little things in life....

Flakes

2010-10-19T17:52:00.000-07:00

No, this isn't a post about dandruff, it's about flaky people.

We all have at least one flaky friend. The only thing you can rely on them for is to be unreliable. It's that friend who never follows through, the one you hate to make plans with because there's only around a 20% chance that the plan will ever come to fruition because they always back out. Meanwhile you could have been making other plans. They are just plain unreliable.

During a recent round of frustration on said topic, I was doing some Googling on the matter and came across this article about how to deal with flaky friends. As you might expect, it says there is nothing you can do to make your friend more reliable, you can only adjust the way you view the problem or you can decide your flaky friend is not worth the trouble they cause and move on. Each situation is different and only you can decide if dealing with the flake is worth it.

As for me, I have tried to accept that my friend just can't help themselves, that they are flaky by nature (or by mind altering drugs, who knows?!?) and since I so enjoy their company when we do manage to follow through with a plan, I deal with the other 90% of the time when they change their minds, back out at the last minute or can't decide what the heck they are doing with gritted teeth, a heavy sigh and an "oh, that's ok". After all, flakes are people and need friends too, right?

If you have a flake in your life, the best advice I can give you is this: Never depend on them and always have a back-up plan.

Just sayin'......

In the doghouse now

2010-10-15T13:44:00.000-07:00

When I first moved in with my roomies, the plan as far as I knew it was that my dog, Miss Katie, would be the only household pet. There was some discussion about the possibility of my room mate getting a puppy for her son some day but that was about it.

Not too long after moving in we suddenly found ourselves with two big Boxers that my room mate didn't expect to get from the ex.... Surprise!

The general consensus at that point was "that's a lot of dog". And it is. Boxers are BIG. At that point I figured the household was complete. Imagine my surprise when it was decided that the puppy plan was still on! Lucky for the roomies, I am a big time dog lover and a sucker for a cute face. Last night the fourth and FINAL canine member of our little motley crew of a family arrived.

Meet Jasmine

Now really, who could say no that THAT cutie-pie?

With an equal humanoid to critter ratio, I declare that the inn is full! No more dogs, no cats, no hamsters or fish. We are full up.

That's a lot of dog....

Falling for Fall

2010-10-12T13:32:00.000-07:00

The fall season here in Florida is a bit different than fall in North Carolina where I grew up. Here in the Sunshine State, we maintain warmer temperatures longer into the season and we don't get those brilliant blazing colors from the trees changing. Still, there's a slightly different feeling in the air.

There are things about each season that I enjoy. When it comes to fall, I look forward to a drop in the humidity here and the chance to be outside for more than five minutes without melting into a puddle of sweat and being swarmed by mosquitoes. This is also the time of year where I begin to feel anticipation about the upcoming holiday season. Halloween and Thanksgiving are nice but I sure love me some Christmas and it's all right around the corner. Fall is the gateway to the holidays I guess. Meanwhile, I enjoy the fall decorations, spiced-pumkin scented candles and other fun fallish things.

The only thing I really don't like is the time change. If I had my way, we would stay on daylight savings time year round. Despite being born in January, my inner clock seems more attuned to daylight savings time. But, rules is rules as they say so on the first Saturday night in November I will (hopefully remember to) turn my clocks back an hour. Prepare to "fall back" people!

Got issues? Well who doesn't?

2010-10-04T16:25:00.000-07:00

So it has come to my attention that I may not be totally cured of all my emotional scars and insecurities. That's ok, it's an ongoing process. Every one has their little "issues" to deal with, their own demons to face.

While no other person on earth can face your demons for you, it does help to have a good support system. Friends, family, co-workers and if you're really lucky, a very understanding significant other. Usually, in order for that to happen, you need a significant other with a few demons of their own. Maybe your scars are different but you get it, you understand the concept in a way some one who hasn't experienced that much heartbreak in life can.

At age 34, it's pretty safe to say that no one is a clean slate.

At age 34, I realize that a clean slate and I wouldn't have a snowballs chance in Haiti.

In order to make it work, it takes... well, work. Well worth what ever effort it may take if you're with the right person. (The right person is also willing to put in the effort or they are not in fact, the right person. Just an FYI there...)

It's tempting to say that I have learned lessons A,B, and C and therefore I know every thing I need to know..... Did you know there are in fact 26 letters in the English alphabet? I'm sure there are more lessons to be learned than one can even count. That's the great thing about life. As long as you live, you are never finished learning. That's a pretty awesome fact.

Crafty mojo?

2010-09-27T09:40:00.000-07:00

At long last, I finally got my craft room all set up.... and have I taken time to play in it? Just barely. It seems like life has been a whirlwind ever since the move. That is not a bad thing but it has been difficult to sit down and get my crafty mojo going.

This weekend I was able to fit in some quality crafting time. Here's a card I made this weekend. The Noah's Ark image is a digital stamp from Squigglefly. It was a lot of fun to color that with my colored pencils. The card is for a baby boy so I went with a blue background and some blue buttons.

With the arrival of fall and the holiday season fast approaching, there are a lot of card making occasions on the horizon. Hopefully I can get back into my crafty groove and take full advantage of my awesome craft space.

The Gift of Acceptance

2010-09-23T13:51:00.000-07:00

I was thinking last night, how rare it is for people to accept each other as they truly are. How many times have we all (myself included) been guilty of saying "I love ____, I just wish he/she would change _____, then they'd be perfect for me."? How many times has the significant other in your life tried to change you to suit their purposes?

If you try to change things you don't like about a person, you may find you end up losing the very things you did like to begin with. If you really want to change a person, perhaps that is not the right person for you to begin with...

The point of having someone in your life is not to change and mold them into the person you want to be with. The point is to find that certain some one with the unique set of characteristics that you can accept, that person with whom you "click" in all the ways that really matter to you.

This is not to say you will always agree on every thing, never fight and that life will be a bowl of cherries. No two people are ever going to like every thing about each other all the time. That's not realistic. Think about it though, if you are with some one who has similar views on life in general, values close to your own beliefs, shares your interests, etc... aren't you more likely to land on the same side of the proverbial fence more often than not?

If you really care for some one, the best gift you can give to them is to accept them as just they are. If they are the right person for you, it will be easy to do because you will not want to change a thing. If they are the right person for you, they are going to accept the true you too.

Celebrate your amazing similarities, your wonderful differences, each silly endearing quirk and just accept each other.

The Splurge

2010-09-17T11:39:00.000-07:00

I don't often spend large quantities of money on myself... at least not for frivolous items but today, I treated myself to:

This new Coach purse.

The one and only Coach purse I owned was several years old. Plus I found myself in need of something larger as I struggled to cram all my "stuff" into it. And yes, I know, I could try not carrying so much "stuff" around with me but getting a new purse seemed like a lot more fun. My new purse has a lot more room and several separate compartments which I like.

Now, I already promised my honey I would reserve a section of the new bag for him so he can free up his pockets when we are together. So here's what I'm thinking:

That should be enough room for your "stuff", right dear?

Oh.... and I didn't want my new purse to be lonely so, I let her bring a friend home with her.

I mean come on, they look so happy together. How could I separate them?

Now, don't ask me how much I paid. Just smile and nod and tell me I'm worth it.

As The World Stops Turning, Weezer Keeps Rockin' and Rollin'

2010-09-16T06:51:00.000-07:00

I grew up watching soap operas with my Mom and Grandma. They were both housewives and it was the daily routine after lunch to turn on The Young and The Restless , The Bold and The Beautiful and As The World Turns . Although Mom and Grandma gave up the soaps long ago, I have watched them off and on throughout my adult life. This Friday the final episode of As The World Turns will be aired. The soap that first went on the air in 1956 is coming to an end.

It's kind of sad to see such a long running show end but some people are taking it a little TOO hard. Yes, I know, if you watched it daily you will miss it... but it's just tv ok? The actors and actresses will move on to other things. Some are actually slated to land safely on The Young and The Restless. Life goes on.

****

Last night, much to my delight, as I was poking around on itunes, I discovered a new album had been released by Weezer. I immediately purchased Hurley . Weezer never fails me. Their upbeat sound makes it hard not to smile. Hurley rocks.

I was amused to discover one of the bonus tracks on the deluxe album is a cover of Coldplay's Viva La Vida. I wouldn't have imagined that working... but it totally does. If you get a chance, check it out.

Have a little faith

2010-09-11T17:20:00.000-07:00

For the record, I don't listen to country music much any more. I used to really enjoy it though. One of the first concerts I ever went to was Garth Brooks.

I have been doing a lot of pondering lately. Any time a major life change takes place I think it's only natural to reflect back on the path that led to where you are right now. A song I had not heard in a long time popped into my head, Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks. Rather you enjoy country music or not, the lyrics are profound. They sure hit home for me right now.

Some times we think we know what we want, what's best for our lives and for what ever reason, it just doesn't work out. We need to remember that God may not be giving us what we ask for right now because he has something so much better waiting for us just around the corner. We need to have faith.

I think I am getting better at letting go of the past. I keep the lessons but I don't dwell on things the way I used to. I think that fact alone has played a huge role in my being willing and able to appreciate those new gifts that have been placed in my path recently. How could I fully appreciate what is now if I was hung up on what was?

I am truly thankful that God didn't give me what I thought I wanted. If he had, I never would have been as happy as I am right now.

So remember, if things don't seem to be going your way. Have a little faith!

Of Sweat and Dogs and Life

2010-09-07T05:41:00.000-07:00

They say timing is everything and I believe it. For example, the timing of the AC at the house dying could not have been worse. Ok, I suppose it could have been worse but Friday afternoon on the cusp of a three day weekend was pretty bad. With our repair guy unable to secure a new motor until the suppliers opened up this morning, it has been a sweaty holiday around here. The guy should be here aaannnnyyy time now.

My roomie is out of town for the week so Miss Katie and two big boxers and I have been here at the sweat lodge on our own. Of coarse, dogs can't sweat so I have been surrounded by a couple of large dogs doing some excess panting. I swear the amount of hot air they are putting out is making it even worse in here. I have to feel sorry for them though. They are just as spoiled by AC as I am and they have no idea why it's suddenly so hot in here all the time. I have tried to make sure they have extra water but this has also resulted in extra potty breaks. Fun times....

I recently ran across a quote by Leo F. Buscaglia aka "The Love Doctor" that struck me as profound. He said "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

How true that is. Think of all the random lives we cross paths with. You may never know what an impact you have had on a person but chances are, you have made a difference in many lives without even trying or knowing it. The smallest sincere act can make a huge difference to some one. You just never know.

Another quote from Mr. Buscaglia : "The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live."

Over the past couple months I feel like I have re-embraced life. Kind of like I just woke up. I don't want to settle any more. I want to really live. I don't want to sit around feeling safe. I'm out there, raw, vulnerable, learning, growing, living. And yeah, maybe I'll get hurt but I think it's a risk worth taking just like Mr. Buscaglia said.

Labor Day Weekend at the Sweat Lodge

2010-09-05T09:16:00.000-07:00

Labor Day weekend got off to a bummer of a start when we arrived home from work on Friday to discover that the air conditioning here at the castle had given up the ghost. Great. A blissful three day weekend at home just became three days of sweat and stickiness. Sure, sure, the maintenance dudes said the "might" be able to get a new motor for the unit and get it done some time over the weekend. I am not holding my breath.

I refuse to let the lack of AC ruin my weekend. Time off is time off even if I'm sticky. Besides, life has thrown some pretty awesome stuff my way lately and I figure if some busted shower tiles and a dead AC are the worst of my problems then I am a lucky lucky girl.

When I decided to move I had to re-work my budget. One of the things that got trimmed was my weekly visit to Weight Watchers. At this point my goal is to maintain my weight even if I can't shed any more right now. I haven't been focusing too much on "dieting" but I have been watching my portions, staying away from too many sweets, etc. My room mate has this killer digital weight watchers scale. Yesterday I worked up the nerve to step on it and see how I have been doing and ... I actually have lost a little more weight. How thrilling to find I am doing better than I hoped. Yay!

Meanwhile, I'm still on the path to rediscovering "me" but the journey is turning out to be a lot more fun than I anticipated. I'll talk more about that later. Right now, I've got fun stuff to do!

Isn't it Ironic?

2010-08-31T08:20:00.001-07:00

The irony of my situation is not lost on me.

I have figured out the real secret to how to find some one to be involved with and even though most of you probably wont make it past step one, I am gonna share these pearls of wisdom any way.

Step one: Do not want to be involved with any one. Swear off relationships and really mean it.
(I just lost most if not all of you, didn't I?)

Step Two: Publicly declare your intention to swear off relationships.
(See my blog post dated July 19th "I hope no one will get the wrong impression when I say I do believe I shall swear off men for a nice long time after this!!")

Step Three: Wait. Not a nice long time ... an amazingly SHORT amount of time.

Here's how it works. You will think you have it alllll figured out because you don't want and/or need to be with any one. You intend to swear off relationships, you really mean it.

Not so fast!! The universe loves nothing better than to remind you that you do not in fact know it all. Just when you think you have it alllll figured out, God or fate or some cosmic jokester says "Oh yeah? I'll show YOU smarty-pants!" and BAM... next thing you know, you are eating those words you so boldly publicly declared in step two an amazingly short amount of time ago. (Surprisingly those words taste just like chicken!)

I've never enjoyed being wrong so much before.

The House-warming

2010-08-29T15:06:00.000-07:00

Last night we had a house warming party here at the new house. I'd say the party was a success. All of our guests seemed to have a good time and we enjoyed showing the place off. For me, the best part was seeing various groups of my friends who had not met before come together and instantly like each other. This wasn't really a surprise to me. As one friend so aptly pointed out, all of my friends are awesome people so why wouldn't they all get along? I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends in my life!!

The house did receive one unfortunate christening this week.

I share a bathroom with my room mate's 6 year old son. Now for the most part I have to say that sharing a bathroom with a 6 year old has not been as bad as I feared. However, the other night, he somehow managed to rip the soap holder and several tiles off the shower wall rendering the shower unusable.

This would have been bad enough in it's self but as it turns out, the wall board behind the tile is rotten so now instead of just missing tiles, there's an actual hole in the wall. I'm hoping the landlord will get this fixed ASAP because until they do, the logistics of getting every one in the house showered .... well, it's a nightmare. I do so enjoy being clean.

Never a dull moment.

On a happier note, I am especially looking forward to attending this month's Jacksonville Art Walk on Wednesday. I encourage my Jax area peeps to get out and support local artists and businesses. It's going to be awesome!

Craftopia Rises Again

2010-08-25T15:22:00.000-07:00

Finally!! I once again have a real craft room. It's so nice to have a true designated area for creativity rather than being banished to the kitchen table and working out of bankers boxes like I did for the past few years.

There's still work to be done but the bulk of it is there. I can sit down now and actually craft!!

On another creative note, I went to The Cummer Museum and Gardens yesterday. Even though it's a rather nifty place and close by, I had not visited it in years. If you are in the Jacksonville area, you should stop in and take a look around. (It's even more enjoyable if you have a handsome fella strolling along with you holding your hand from time to time like I did.)

Well, that's all for today. I'm off to find something to eat and to relax. Two more days til the weekend and it can't get here fast enough for me.

the last single woman in America

2010-08-21T19:10:00.000-07:00

I'm almost finished reading a book called The Last Single Woman in America by Cindy Guidry. This isn't one if those 'woe is me, I am single' books. This is a book about a single woman sharing her relationship experiences, thoughts on love and why she is still single and it's peppered with humor. I can hardly put it down.

I'm not sure a man could relate to this book but I can safely say that every woman I know, single or not, could get something out of it. Kudos to Ms. Guidry for putting her feelings out there for the world to see.

The most recent chapter I finished was titled "love". In it, Cindy is asked by a man who has reportedly never been in love to describe what it's like to be in love.

"So how do you describe being in love? It's illogical and therefore defies rational explanation. I'm pretty sure it's a temporary form of insanity brought on by a weird chemical reaction that's been cleverly designed to trick people into agreeing to spend the rest of their lives together. "

Given my experience, I guess I can see that point of view.

I mean, it MUST be temporary insanity. All things considered, I should be depressed right now, mourning my last chance at true love, etc., etc... but instead I'm sitting here with a goofy grin on my face and a huge case of the giggles. What's that all about? I don't really know but I know enough not to question it. Good things are happening and I'm going to let them happen. Why not? I deserve to be happy as much as any one else. I'm not going to punish myself for past mistakes.

I think that everything in life comes with a lesson. If we learn that lesson, we get to move forward. If we don't learn, we must repeat the lesson. I have learned. I'm ready to move forward. What ever lesson is next, bring it on!!

Shame on you Clearwire ISP!!

2010-08-18T09:48:00.000-07:00

I've used Clearwire as my Internet Service Provider for years. For the most part, I've had no complaints. Back in the beginning, I used to lose the signal every time it rained but the seemed to have resolved that issue.

Last night I was happily surfing the world wide web when BAM!! My browser was taken over by a message from Clearwire that I needed to upgrade my Clearwire equipment and I couldn't access any site other than theirs. So I picked up the phone and called their toll-free number. An annoyingly perky call center rep we shall call 'Sybil' answered the phone and explained to me that if I ordered the upgrade today, I'd be back on the web in 5 to 7 days. I could hear similar conversations going on in the background at the call center. I'm guessing no one was happy with Clearwire last night. (5 to 7 days?? I'm paying to be on the Internet RIGHT NOW!!!) I explained to Sybil that this was not ok and that I either wanted to be reconnected to the Internet right then or I wanted my account cancelled and money back since I was paying for a service that was not being rendered. She said they could not reconnect me, the equipment I had would no longer work. Sybil wasn't sounding so perky any more.

Sybil put me on hold for a while. Rather it was her strategy to give me a few minutes to reflect on the horror of life without Clearwire Internet, to ask her supervisor what to do about the difficult lady on line 2 or to curse a blue streak, I could not say. What Sybil did not know is that I already had every intention of dumping Clearwire for a new ISP .... just not for another week when it will be installed along with the cable tv. She never had a chance at getting me to upgrade.

When she returned Sybil advised me that if I really didn't want to upgrade and did want to close my account, they would send me a shipping label so I could return their equipment to them and upon receipt of said equipment, I would receive a refund of my money paid. (You want your equipment back? The equipment that wont work any more because every one is required to upgrade to your NEW equipment? FINE!!) So I'll wait for my shipping label and I'll mail back the worthless equipment but if I actually get a refund, I shall faint dead away.

Yet another long term 'relationship' ending on a sour note. So long Clear-jerks!!

Life After Gumby

2010-08-16T10:44:00.000-07:00

Maybe I was the one that ultimately had the strength to end the suspense, to stop fighting for it and move out but the truth is Charles (Hereinafter referred to as Gumby) had 'checked out' of our relationship months ago. I just had to catch up with him in a short period of time. The couple weeks of our forced co-habitation after the break up were emotionally painful. I had hoped we could remain good friends but his attitude during that time made it clear that wasn't an option.

Moving out of Gumby's was like ripping off a band aid quickly. All that's left now is a little tender spot which as long as no one pokes at it, doesn't really bother me.

I know there are some people who say they don't want to know anything about their ex's activities and then secretly sit around hoping for a juicy tid-bit to obsess over. I used to be one of those people. That is NOT me today. When I say I don't want to hear anything about Gumby, I really mean it. I don't care if you see him running down the street in flames because he forgot how to 'stop-drop-and-roll'. I don't need to know about it. Gumby is my past. I want to focus on my present and my future.

I've taken what precautions I can. I blocked him on Facebook, I deleted his user ID from my computer, put all our pictures away, etc. I even advised him to change his Facebook password (I set up his account for him) so I would never have to face the temptation of looking at it that way. Aside from calling him Gumby, I have stuck to the high road of this break up. (Come on, I had to allow myself something and I assure you he and his friends have called me far worse. ) What I can't control is other people's loose lips. So friends, I implore you, if you really want to help me heal and move on, no Gumby reports. Not even a little one. Please and Thank You!

There are too many good things in my life for me to be hung up on the past. I have a great new home, wonderful supportive friends and a new, more free outlook on life.

Life is full of possibilities and excitement that puts butterflies in my tummy and makes me giggle when I think about them. Oh yes, there is life after Gumby.

Sharing Home Pics

2010-08-13T13:12:00.000-07:00

This is my new home!

I know God was looking out for me. To find a home like this in a nice safe neighborhood was more than I hoped for.

Amazing kitchen with tile floors and lots of counter space. Formal dining room.

Living room with wood (ok pergo or something) flooring and a fireplace. Oh how I have missed having a fireplace!!

Bathroom.

Sweet little sitting area in the back yard. I can imagine myself spending some time out there reading while Miss Katie plays in the big fenced in yard.

Does any one know what kind of fruit this is??

Still lots of unpacking and things to do but I'm enjoying every bit of it. It's so nice to have a real craft room gain instead of being relegated to the dining room table.

This is beyond awesome!

Home Sweet New Home

2010-08-09T13:38:00.000-07:00

The past couple weeks have been a whirlwind of activity. From a sudden break-up, a chaotic trip to NC, to finding a new home and moving... Phew! I am tired. As a person accustomed to sitting behind a desk, I am not used to intense manual labor and let me tell you, I'm feeling it now.

The good Lord was certainly looking out for me. In record speed, I and one of my very best friends had found a really nice house to rent together. We still have a lot of unpacking and organizing to do but it will feel like home in no time at all. Things have a way of working out as they are meant to. I do believe that.

I have to give a shout-out to a friend without whom this move would have been a disaster. The thought that is impressed upon my mind right now is that some times a knight doesn't have to appear in shining armor to rescue you. He might show up in tennis shoes and a sweaty t-shirt and be every bit as awesome.
You know who you are and I can't thank you enough!

Pics of the new castle will come along soon.

Til next time....

Great News!!

2010-08-05T13:08:00.000-07:00

Oh happy day! Finally some good news for a change.

Things have moved really quickly since my return from North Carolina. Without boring you with the details, I have found a new home and will soon be room mates with one of my best friends in the whole world.

I put a lot of thought into the situation, weighed the pros and cons of getting a place alone vs. having a room mate. Each situation has it's disadvantages but heavily tipping the scale are the following factors: 1) Splitting expenses with a room mate has a major financial advantage; 2) This way I am getting into a nice house rather than a mediocre apartment; 3) I've gotten used to having some one else around and I don't want to sit at home alone every night feeling depressed and sorry for myself.

So today I signed a lease and I have to say, I'm really excited about getting into my new home. The next few days will be insane with rushed packing, the move, the unpacking... I can't say I'm not stressed but, this time it's a good stress, an excited, hey there really is hope, let's DO this, kind of stress.

Maybe I'll play my 'Breaking Up With Gumby' play list while I pack:

1. I Hate This Part Right Here - The Pussycat Dolls
2. Done Stealin' - Carolina Liar
3. Sentimental Heart - She & Him
4. Don't Speak - No Doubt

5. Leap of Innocence - Liz Phair
6. Friend of Mine - Liz Phair
7. Never Gonna Happen - Lily Allen
8. On Saturday - The Clarks
9. Better Off Without You - The Clarks
10. End It On This - No Doubt
11. Not Big - Lilly Allen
12. So What - Pink

The Continuing Adventures of Me

2010-08-02T13:29:00.000-07:00

I took a week off and went to NC to visit my family. Let me tell you, nearly 8 hours in a car alone is entirely too much time to think about one's troubles. Thank God for my Ipod! It helps to just get lost in the music, even when you make up a little "breakin' up" soundtrack. Maybe I'll post the details of that later because I actually rather enjoyed it.

My trip was an emotional one. All three of my living grandparents are in advancing states of decline and it's hard to see them in that condition. This isn't how I want to remember them later on. It's hard to watch my parents struggling to take care of them too.

I did manage to squeeze some fun into my trip. Bowling, shopping and dining out with the folks. A day with my brother and his family too. My niece is a little ball of energy these days, constantly on the move. You can say I'm biased if you want but I'm telling you, she's the cutest little girl EVER!

Another 8 hours on the road and it was back to harsh reality in Jacksonville. I was greeted by flooded streets and an ex-boyfriend who had doubtless spent the week having his mind further poisoned against me. It wasn't a happy home-coming to say the least. Funny how some one that supposedly loved you two weeks ago can suddenly feel nothing for you but disdain, especially when nothing really happened. Well, nothing but the reappearance of an old bad influence that is. But, I digress... There's no point in dwelling on all that.

With vacation behind me, it's time to focus on finding new digs. A happy prospect may be in view on that subject... but I don't want to post that here.for my stalkers to see, at least not til I know for sure it's going to work out.
I hate packing and moving but I do enjoy setting up a new place so I'm trying to look forward to that part of it and not to dwell on the hassle of it all. Accentuate the positive as the saying goes. Yeah that's me, little Mary Sunshine......Bite me! (Bit of an inside joke there folks.)

This is me signing off for now.....

Who am I? No, seriously....

2010-07-21T11:46:00.000-07:00

Last night one of my best girlfriends took me out to dinner to cheer me up. A little 'girl time' was just what the doctor ordered. After that I went home, watched Hell's Kitchen (So sad Ed got kicked off, waaahhhh!), went to bed and crashed... the sleep of total exhaustion.

Some time in the night... maybe even in my sleep?... I had an epiphany. I do so love a good epiphany. Enlightenment often follows controversy does it not? At any rate, it hit me that for so long now, I have identified myself as one half of a couple... I was "Melissa and Charles" or "Charles' girlfriend, Melissa" .... but at some point I had stopped just being me. I've lost my individual identity. Didn't I swear after my divorce that I would never allow that to happen again?? DOH!

I didn't realize it but maintaining this relationship was really putting a strain on me. Constantly worrying about interference from some openly disapproving and meddlesome people in Charles' life, keeping my guard up, always having to defend myself, trying to keep some one else happy while maintaining my own sanity (and evidently failing miserably on both points) ... It has all weighed me down to the point I don't even recognize myself.

Suddenly I realize, I don't have to do all that any more. I can relax, I can breathe and just be me.... All I have to do is figure out who exactly I am after all this. As sad as I am, I still feel a huge weight lifting from my shoulders. I know it will take me a while to figure myself out again but hey.... I've got nothing but time.

The Winds of Change are Blowing

2010-07-19T09:41:00.000-07:00

Hello friends and random visitors. It is with a heavy heart that I write today's post. Despite my truest and best efforts to build a life together with Charles, it seems our relationship has run it's coarse and that we are nearing the end of our journey together.

Having gone through more than my fair share of break-ups, I know this is not the end of the world and that I will be strong and survive on my own. That doesn't mean I'm not sad, hurt, confused, angry and all that other stuff. Our lives have been intertwined for the past four and a half years, letting go will not be easy. But, I deserve to be with someone who wants to be with me, not just someone who is settling for me because I pay half the mortgage, do the laundry, buy the groceries and so on. If I can't have that, then I'm better off alone. I have already learned my lesson about staying with someone for the wrong reasons. It's not a lesson I need to relearn.

And so, unless there is some drastic change for the better over the next few months while I gather my financial resources, I will be moving on to the next phase in my life. I hope no one will get the wrong impression when I say I do believe I shall swear off men for a nice long time after this!!

On a completely unrelated note, have you ever met any one with a spine about as sturdy as Gumby??

These Summer Days

2010-06-28T05:01:00.000-07:00

Summer is in full swing here in "The Sunshine State". Although, it feels more like "the sticky humidity state" these days. The heat makes it hard to get motivated for outdoor activities. It's a good time to play inside and for me that means stamping.

Here's a card I made this weekend:

I used Paper Trey Ink's 'dark chocolate' as the card base and some cool K&Company DP for the background and the flower. I made the flower by using the Spellbinders 'Dahlia' Nestabilities set. I sponged Brilliance 'coffee bean' ink onto the edges of the flower layers and used a brad as the flower's center. I also rolled the flower edges up just a bit to create some dimension. The butterfly is also cuttlebugged and sponged.

Here are a couple new pictures of the 'kids'.
Miss Katie and her hamburger toy:

Tonkers playing with (or guarding?) a tennis ball.

Summer has brought us some yummy tomatoes from our garden. Here's this weekend's harvest:

Besides the scorching summer heat, you know what makes me hot(mad)? Thinking about work on my day off, that's what.
Charles and I were out for a lovely sushi dinner with friends last night when I got a series of texts from my boss telling me that her vacation had been extended by a day due to a canceled flight. That meant Court hearings and mediation on the schedule for Monday were not happening and that meant last minute rescheduling nightmare town for me.

While I'm sure part of my boss' intention was to spare me from being blindsided when I arrived at work today (Monday), the fact is, there was nothing I could do about it on Sunday evening. I would have preferred to go along my way obliviously enjoying what was left of my weekend. That info could have waited til first thing this morning and I would not have spent my evening and night dreading the inevitable chaos of today. My sincere apologies to our dinner companions for having to listen to me gripe about it last night.

I'm pretty sure the Sunday evening texts qualify as a "party foul". I'm calling a flag on the play!

This is me signing off until next time!

Meanwhile, back on the funny farm.....

2010-06-16T11:03:00.000-07:00

Tonkers is getting settled in quite nicely now. She has the run of the house and no longer wants to hide out in her room. She does some pretty funny things such as laying in the bathroom sink or sitting in baskets. She is the most 'talkative' cat I have ever seen.

Katie and Tonks have reached a stage of semi-tolerance. Here they are napping on the couch together with a nice safe pillow divider.

For the most part the 'kids' either ignore each other or give each other the stink eye from a safe distance. Now and then one or the other of them will make a sudden move which freaks the other out and a round of barking, hissing and swiping will flare up but it usually doesn't last more than a few seconds. We are getting there.

In other news... I FINALLY GOT CONTACTS!! Oh and my long hair chopped of as well. (Maybe that accounts for me being 0.7 lbs lighter at Weight Watchers this week but I chose to believe it was real weight loss. Haha.)

I never thought I could wear contacts what with the whole poking my eye squeamish thing. Some times I actually surprise myself in a good way. I am enjoying not having to clean my glasses every ten minutes, that's for sure.

Here's a recent picture of me and the Mr., sweating like pigs at hibachi.

Well, back to the daily battle.

Vacation in Review

2010-05-26T16:50:00.000-07:00

We had a fantastic getaway to Orlando last weekend. Getting away from home and our jobs for a few days was just what the doctor ordered. Here are a few highlights from the trip.

We spent one day at Universal Studios. It was SO much fun and the crowds and lines were not nearly as bad as we had feared they would be. Boy were my feet killing me by the end of the day though.

We also went to the Tampa Bay Auto Museum. While I am not into cars in general, I do really enjoy seeing the classics. Back in the day, a car was a work of art as well as a method of transportation.

We were thrilled to find a Hotchkiss car among the collection there. Below is a picture of Mr. Hotchkiss by the Hotchkiss car and the car's info which you can probably read by enlarging the picture a bit.

We also did some silly touristy things such as stopping at Orange World.

We hit a tiki themed mini golf place. Charles won at that but we both enjoyed playing.

Our last night there we went to dinner at Medieval Times.

We cheered on the Blue Knight while eating our delicious meals with our hands (no utensils allowed. Part of the charm of the experience I guess.)

Coming back to reality was a little easier knowing we only had to work for two days before enjoying a three day Memorial weekend. If only it could last a little longer.....

Of Cards and Critters

2010-05-13T16:48:00.000-07:00

Hello friends. Taking a few minutes out to blog this afternoon.

Below are a couple of my recent creations. Both are the result of some challenges from the Splitcoaststampers site. I am happy with both cards but am particularly proud of the second one. It didn't turn out ANYTHING like I planned, it turned out better.

On the home-front, we have spent the last week and a half letting Tonks (who I mostly call Tonkers) get comfy in her new home. We have refereed any interaction between the cat and my well established dog, Miss Katie. Katie likes to stand outside the cat's room and bark... and bark... and bark. It has been hard on the ears but we expected this.

Last night we decided it was time to let the fur-kids face off. The tables turned very quickly for poor Miss Katie. A few warning hisses from Tonks and then....SWIPE... followed by a YELP. Katie was not really hurt but she sure was shocked. She has never lived with a critter that didn't let her rule over them before and that includes some really big dogs. Now instead of being tormentor, Katie is the tormented. She wants nothing to do with the cat and turns to go the other way when she sees her.

This morning Katie trotted into the living room where Charles and Tonks were sitting on the couch. Katie spotted the cat and turned to retreat but when she turned her back, Tonks POUNCED on her backside. YELP!!! Katie made a bee-line for where I was in another room. I think she would have crawled up my legs if she could. Poor baby!

I'm sure there will be many more days like this before the cat and dog learn to co-exist in peace but I have faith that we will eventually get there. Until then, I bet we will have plenty of stories to tell.

More About Tonks

2010-05-10T05:02:00.003-07:00

Tonks

We still haven't gotten any really good pictures of Tonks but here are a few glances.

Tonks pretty much spent the first 24 hours at our house hiding inside the box-spring of the bed in our guest room. Eventually she let us visit with her a little bit at a time.

Charles and his new baby:

I tried to get her to look at the camera to no avail....

Tonks is eating, drinking and using her litter box just fine. She doesn't venture far from "her room" yet. We are letting her do things at her own pace.

Miss Katie is VERY curious about the kitty. She goes to the door of Tonk's room and sniffs and sniffs. Occasionally she barks. I get the impression she's mostly trying to tell us "Hey! There's something IN there!!"

We are introducing Katie and Tonks slowly. A few well supervised peeks at each other is all they've been allowed so far.

I'm sure I will soon have plenty of adventures to tell you about regarding our fur-kids.

Tonks the Cat

2010-05-08T06:41:00.000-07:00

Charles and I are pleased to announce the arrival of the newest member of our family, Tonks the cat. I'm sure you would expect such an announcement to come with photos of the new fur-baby. However, Tonks is in hiding and is not yet ready for her first photo session. We are letting her do her own thing and giving her time to get comfortable in her new surroundings. We will get better acquainted and take pictures when she is ready.

I had a particularly rough week at the office and it ended on a very sour note. Without going into a lot of whining detail, I will quote my good friend Kennie: "Mean people suck"!!

After such an ordeal, I am particularly glad to have something positive to focus on such as getting Tonks adjusted in her new forever home.

I also find the Serenity Prayer comforting at such times.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

We MUST be NUTS!!

2010-05-05T10:51:00.000-07:00

The thing I love most about my dog Katie is the fact that she's the one living creature on this Earth whose greatest desire and delight is just to be near me. She has been the one steady constant in my life for the last 11 years. Men, friends, homes and jobs have all come and gone. Katie and I have been together through it all. When I come home from a rotten day at the office and see her scampering to greet me with little tail wagging, it truly makes my day. There's nothing better.

Charles loves Miss Katie too but the fact is, she's very much my dog and some times I think that's painfully obvious to him. He has mentioned many times that he misses having pet rats. Those were gone before we met. (Thank goodness! I veto the idea of bringing any rodent into the house! )He has also brought up the idea of getting another dog but I don't think I want another while we have Katie. The truth is, I think he is longing for something that would be his.

For a while now Charles has talked about wanting a Russian Blue cat. And now, we've found one....

There was a 4 year old Russian Blue cat listed at a local animal rescue. I e-mailed for information about her last night. The next thing I knew, we were filling out an adoption application! Just a couple hours later, we received word that our application was approved. If all goes as planned (and I know some times they don't) we will be picking up the newest member of our family on Friday evening.

The folks at the rescue say that Tonks (odd name but Charles says he likes it and probably wont change it) came from a home with "two hyper little dogs" and some other cats so she should be able to handle sharing a home with Katie. (Katie on the other hand, will probably freak out at first but will hopefully adjust quickly.) The previous owners evidently lost their home and could not keep their animals. So sad! Having to give up a pet must be so hard. I hope we can give Tonks her forever home. I hope this will give Charles what he has been missing too.

Tuesday Tidbits

2010-05-03T04:58:00.000-07:00

Here in Florida, the period of time between cold weather and hot weather is really short. Sunday it got up to 94 degrees at our house. I think we have officially reached "hot". I am not complaining. I'd rather be hot than cold any day.

I often say that one of the keys to happiness is to always have something to look forward to. With that in mind, I have thrown myself into planning our little vacation which is a few weeks away. Orlando here we come! Hotel reservations have been made and other plans are in the works. I can hardly wait to just be "away", even though it's not far and only a few days.

Here are a couple cards I made over the weekend.

Did you remember that Mother's Day is May 9th? That's THIS Sunday!! Don't forget to tell your Mom how much you love her.

Here are a couple more pictures from the yard. The pink roses have really taken off this week. Not only are they pretty, they are the best smelling roses I have ever encountered.

That's all for today. Off to work I go!

Nature's Yard Art

2010-04-27T05:04:00.000-07:00

The flowers in the yard have really out-done themselves this year. Here are a few pictures I took this weekend.
This is a LARGE rose bush.... It's just loaded down with blooms and buds.

These beauties were ready for their close-ups!

All these flowers were already here when we got the house. The only credit we can take is for not having killed them so far. That counts, right?

Speaking of flowers, the ones in the designer paper on this card are quite lovely. (See how I craftily changed the subject from the title matter to card making? *wink*)

I call this one "Flowers For Moo". The stamp is designed by Penny Black. I just love her stuff and I have a soft spot for moo-cows.

That's all for now. Come back soon!

Random iPod Shuffle Game

2010-04-21T09:51:00.000-07:00

I have always loved music and my taste is eclectic to say the least. I am a 'lyrics person', by that I mean I pay attention to and think about the lyrics of the songs I listen to whereas some people just hear a catchy beat and have no idea what the song is really saying.

I decided it would be fun to put my iPod on random shuffle and see what ten songs came up first. Below are the results including artist, title, lyric excerpt and commentary. And yes, I'm going to be honest about what songs come up... no matter how embarrassing they may be...

1. The Statler Brothers - Guilty - "...if there's a distant look in her eye, and she's lost the will to try. If she seems bitter of other days, seems to have lost, her Baptist ways. If the truth comes harder than a lie...If she's guilty so am I....."

I remember seeing the Statler Brothers on some tv show that my folks were watching when I was a kid. I fell in love with their harmony and have enjoyed their music ever since.

2. Third Eye Blind - Wounded - "The guy who put his hands on you, has got nothing to do with me. And the bruises that you feel will heal and i hope you come around, cause we're missing you."

This is one of those song with a catchy beat that you may not realise is actually pretty sad if you really listen. It's about abuse and the scars it leaves behind and how people deal with the aftermath of abuse.

3. Phantom Planet - Lonley Day - " Even though the sun is shining down on me and I should feel about as happy as can be; I just got here and I already want to leave, It's gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day. Everybody knows that something's wrong; But nobody knows what's going on...."

I discovered this song on the Smallville sound track. Pretty self-explanatory and I think we can all relate.

4. Jack Johnson - Fall Line - " ...you know that hope will make you strange make you blink make you blink make you sink it will make you afraid of change and often blame the box with the view of the world..."

I like Jack Johnson's laid back style but any time I hear his music, it reminds me of this guy I used to date who introduced me to this music. Funny how certain music feels so connected to certain parts of our lives.

5. Garbage - Only Happy When It Rains - "I'm only happy when it rains, I feel good when things are going wrong, I only listen to the sad sad songs, I'm only happy when it rains"

I think we should just rename this song 'Life Before Zoloft' and move on.... P.S. Shirley Manson is awesome. That is all.

6. Vince Gill - What Child Is This - " This, this is Christ the King, Whom shepherds guard and Angels sing; Haste, haste, to bring Him laud, The Babe, the Son of Mary."

As much as I love Christmas songs... This popping up was a reminder that I need to deactivate the Christmas portion of my iPod library until next winter....

7. ABBA - Does Your Mother Know - "Well I can dance with you honey, If you think it's funny
Does your mother know that you're out? And I can chat with you baby, Flirt a little maybe . Does your mother know that you're out?"

Fine, fine, laugh if you must but it's true, I like ABBA and I have the ABBA Gold album on my iPod. Some times I think I was born a decade too late....

8. The Hush Sound - Sweet Tangerine - " Everyone will make mistakes
Without the sour the sweet wouldn't taste and... Sweet tangerine, will you please come back to me? Cause I don't think that these feelings are gonna leave."

I discovered The Hush Sound quite by mistake one day while surfing the music pages on Myspace. Love this band! Check out their album 'Like Vines'.

9. She & Him - Sentimental Heart - "Cried all night 'til there was nothin' more What use am I as a heap on the floor? Human Devotion but its just no good taking it hard just like you know i would ... "

The 'She' in She & Him is actress Zooey Deschanel . Check out 'Volume One' for some old-school tunes full of feeling. Another happy accidental discovery.

10. Bowling For Soup - Ohio - " She said she needed a break, A little time to think, But then she went to Cleveland, With some guy named Leelan, That she met at the bank."

Just about every song on the A Hangover You Don't Deserve album cracks me up. These guys are hilarious!

Well, that was fun and not too embarrassing... I guess. Why are you still reading this?? Go get your iPod and put it on random shuffle and enjoy!